Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML
Today, I noticed some of my thongs were stretched out and now hung loose on my hips. I thought it might be the dryer set too hot but no, apparently my mom has been wearing them over her fat ass, and thought I wouldn’t mind since we occasionally share our hoodies. Not the same thing mom. GROSS. FML
Today, I was folding the laundry. At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or my mothers. I'm 18. She is 56. Enough said. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had been hiding all my leggings and yoga pants from me. Upon asking her, she admitted that she was jealous that my butt is bigger than hers, and that when I wear those types of pants, it's like I'm "rubbing it in". FML
Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML
Today, I found why exactly my clothes always seemed more stretched out after about a week of owning them. My mom steals and wears them when she goes clubbing. My mom is 46, twice my size, and gets out more than me. FML
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Top comments
Misswildsides 22
If you're not happy with that, it's time to take control of your life and start exercising and get healthy. Best of luck to you, Op.
TheDrifter 24
Look at it as your jeans receiving special treatment, only half as many crammed into the washer.
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Comments (107)
TheDrifter 24
Look at it as your jeans receiving special treatment, only half as many crammed into the washer.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
At least OP isn't in DENImAL about her weight.
FlubbaBubba 12
Maybe her weight problem is based on her genes.
kwyk 23
You can sit on your butt all day and blame genes, or you can work said butt off.
buddy51 23
The farting, the farting!!!!!!!
bluehero 17
Blame it on the jeans(genes)!
HKCgrimmjow 15
DOHOHOHOHOOO your so clever. Go home.
Glitter_taco_ 10
30 that joke just wasn't punny enough to make the cut.
Misswildsides 22
If you're not happy with that, it's time to take control of your life and start exercising and get healthy. Best of luck to you, Op.
iLike2Teabag 27
Hopefully she doesn't fart every time she does a jumping jack.
Ambient25 25
Not just exercise, but maybe a change in diet too. If OP consumes a few cans of soda a day, it's probably time to cut back. Same with fast food.
IAmJad 18
I don't get it.
7yzzFML 17
Exactly, I dont know why the OP would expect us to reply anything other than "You deserve it", its simple OP, you are fat, its your fault, start burning more energy than consume, its not that hard.
LGuard 13
There really is no excuse to be fat outside of (severe) medical issues. OP needs to get their jelly arse outside and start jogging (or running if capable of doing actual exercise).
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Really grosses me out how people are being so harsh on the OP. Weight loss can be hard, OP could have thick bones or bad medical issues, and, in general, it's just really harsh to call someone "fat". The way it's said, it's like saying it's all someone is, or that it's their defining characteristic. Plus, maybe I'm just weird, but generally, the harsher people are to me, the less likely I am to take their advice.
jaybear13 14
if you dont like that start working out, eating health etc. FYL
buddy51 23
Maybe OP doesn't like the taste of "health"?
jaybear13 14
my bad it was supposed to say healthy
Ameel_fml 19
To be fair, bigger clothing would take up more room in the washing machine, thus using more washing liquid. It's a mean way for your mother to say it, but....
SMHsohard 22
It's also a pretty passive-aggressive way to bring up the subject on her mom's part. We don't really have enough information to say FHL or YDI: If mom is a size 2 and OP is a size 12, then this is mom's problem. If OP shops at Lane Bryant because she has curves instead of being a lollipop lady and is physically healthy, it's still mom's problem. If OP really is packing on pounds and living unhealthy, then it's time to talk with her doctor and mom about steering back onto a healthy course. No, it's nowhere near easy, but losing weight say, in your late teens or 20s is a lot easier than when you approach the half century mark.
otecasacid 22
having curves is different than being obese... I don't see why people on the internet fail to understand that.
SMHsohard 22
Because only perfectly beautiful people ever go on the Internet, and everything you read and see is the absolute truth, since you can't put anything that's not true on the Internet. Right?
theannak 7
Yeah. Right. "Uh...bonjour."
mackdeezy 22
Chin up! Or should I say, double-chin up! Seriously though, don't feel bad, use it as motivation that there's room for Improvement.
buddy51 23
Lots of room!!!...
jakeydudey 13
What are you on about? She can't do chin ups ;)
clever_name_here 7
Clever. Rude, but clever
aly_pinay22 8
Maybe it's time to start exercising and eating healthy. Think of all the laundry detergent and electricity you'll be saving with smaller clothes! (:
samcarroll 9
Rock those fat boy jeans and be proud about yourself! lol
Ambient25 25
I think that was part of his post...
maz95 17
Well if you're not happy, think of this as motivation to start getting into shape. Tough way to find out from your mum though..if she did just blatantly tell you.
RpiesSPIES 27
OP, the name you picked scares me a bit. Don't develop an eating disorder :( If you try to lose weight, don't let thoughts like that cloud your mind.
vladimirnabokov 15
Lately my derrière has been getting rather large as well. I feel you OP. Don't be discouraged! We can exercise and cry together.