Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
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Comments (669)
chaoticnh 0
how was the party?
Fortitudine 3
These kind of "FML" stories make me happy, it's nice to know bad things happen to assholes like you.
RubenTheGreek 8
Yeah,equality's not gonna happen (over the i hit ur balls subject),we see women as weaker therefore we don't dare hitting them,it would be dishonouring,unfair and tbh it wouldn't make you look like much of a man. Not to get off topic. Ya,you just got ****** over,totally deserved and it was gonna happen sometime,hopefully this'll teach ya better ;)
Ash0191 3
YDI FOR CHEEAAATING
September_fox 2
Honestly, all you talking about equality and how if your GF cheats on you you can go ahead and hit her; you have no room to talk about double standards. You're only ranting about equality because a guy got hurt by girls for being a douche. And yes, he did deserve it.
joshua12927 0
Don't cheat next time ass hole. Your lucky they didn't get some guy to beat the shit outa you!
gene818 13
You get one, you can stay with one for a long time. You get two, you lose both shortly.
ILoveVilleValo 0
why is there even a "**** your life" button.? YDI
lotto_boi 3
must of been god s3x
KaskStunter 4
Never go to a war kid if you aren't prepared to die.