Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (669)
SDMF 0
You deserve it jackass.
blanccamaro74 6
u were kind of asking for it
BulletCatcher12 0
I'm a guy and I'd've done more than kick you in the nuts amigo, so consider yourself lucky. Scum like you don't deserve to breed anyways.
ChelseaRaeS 7
assssss holeeeeeeee
stayawakee 0
Deserves to of lost his ability to have kids. No kid deserves a father with such shitty morals and lack of respect for others.
EvilLilCupcake 10
I agree 528% the other 32% thinks he deserved worse then hospitalization
EvilLilCupcake 10
oops I ment the other 72%
nothingtodisplay 7
YDI for cheating asshole! I hope they have to remove your left ********.
whipmie87 0
this is why you don't have two girlfriends. now I'll be surprised if you can get even one.
jess6blondie9 3
I can't believe that you have the right nut to post this on an FML saying your life sucks. You fricken deserved every piece of that. They should have made your right nut in pain too. Dick weed.
jeskosunick15 0
Good you deserve it, don't cheat you dick
eablue_fml 6
you deserve it douchebag... thats what you get for cheated.. it should have been worse ...