Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Why on earth would he do that? D:
JJ88 0
Little kids are dicks today, I blame mtv and disney. You should have said something that would have sent him crying lol
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Comments (161)
ummeowmix 0
hahaha thats so funny! lmao
lottofee 0
it would drive me nuts!
jemsmej 0
see what you did there? :P
McLaughlane 0
What a poorly-adjusted little snot. FYL....funny though :)
Major_General 10
Surprisingly, I'm with the kid on this one.
jdb2009 0
Man, I would have started rolling around on the ground playing like I was dying to lure him in and when got within grabbing distance I'd yell "YOU'RE ******* DEAD YOU LITTLE ****", grabbed him and smack the shit out of him. Punk. Wait a sec, how did he know you were allergic to peanuts or was that a coincidence? ...hm...
ElMundio87 0
I'd blow the kids head off with a shotgun while screaming "I HOPE THIS KILLS YOU".
curryndricegirll 0
ahahaha! that has got to be the funniest thing i've ever read
hi5534 3
lolomgwthbbq??~
2005KonaScrapp 0
Ydi
spacer_ 0
ahaa when I was a kid our next door neighbours wouldn't give our ball back so my sister and I chalked "silly bobs and stupid babs" all over their driveway. I love kids. OP probs offended him in some way and definitely deserved it. Just cause he's a kid doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings!
xXxAlex666xXx 7
What the hell ? x'D
lolwut_fail 0
Don't **** with that kid. They grow up fast...