Today, after I spent 3 months growing my beard and hair so I could go for the Viking look, my mom told me I look almost eerily identical to the registered sex offender who lives 2 streets away. Out come the clippers, I’m going full bald. Three months wasted FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML
Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML
Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML
Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML
Today, I came to the decision that I needed some variety in my life, so I decided to get a haircut. My mom insisted that she could do it and that she had experience because she cuts my dad's short hair. I had thick, long hair. Now, my hair is uneven, ugly and short. FML
Today, I finally got my boyfriend to go get his lockdown beard trimmed. He came back with the kind of pointy monstrosity you see on people like Keemstar. I'm tempted to prune it in his sleep. FML
Today, I was finally confident enough to buzz half my hair off into the style I've wanted since I was young. Turns out that I have a particularly large and angry-looking skin problem across my scalp that may well have been there for years. It'll take months to grow back. FML
Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Being clean-shaven, you'll be a much more successful pedophile. That'll teach the registered sex offender a lesson he won't soon forget!
IHaveThePower 18
Buzz cuts are nice and manly, at least? And they're a lot less fuss than the Viking look--if you go hiking at all, I can personally vouch for a buzz cut involving a hell of a lot less getting caught on various thorny bushes...
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Being clean-shaven, you'll be a much more successful pedophile. That'll teach the registered sex offender a lesson he won't soon forget!
emmalou 19
what a dramatic response and so much value on her opinion yikes! good luck going bald 🤣
IHaveThePower 18
Buzz cuts are nice and manly, at least? And they're a lot less fuss than the Viking look--if you go hiking at all, I can personally vouch for a buzz cut involving a hell of a lot less getting caught on various thorny bushes...