Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Why on earth would he do that? D:
JJ88 0
Little kids are dicks today, I blame mtv and disney. You should have said something that would have sent him crying lol
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Comments (161)
Moonpaper 0
What a pleasant child.
Klabauterpete 0
Lol, what a strange, yet funny, kid.
BadOwner 0
hmmm... reminds me of "Malcom in the Middle"
floatingadrift 0
worst kid ever
Matty_No9 0
lmao that little bastard.. you must have done something to him in the past to piss him off somehow...or maybe overhurd his parents talking about doing the same :O haha well if you havnt pissed him off in the past then declaire war on the pissant
Bansheethekilla 2
Hold him down and shove fire crackers up his ass and say "i hope this kills you mr peanut"
JellyBellie89 0
you should have thrown plastic bags at him saying i hope this kills you. and see how he liked it
XanimalloverX 0
Either something happened between your family and the kids family or the kids parents don't bother teaching him right from wrong or the kid is just jacked in the head ( ) either way be careful
Sethyboy0 4
You should have waited until the kid ran out of peanuts and ******* punted his ass over the backyard fence :D
DarkAngelMea 0
yes i agree wit sethyboy0. dats horriable i would hav tripped da boy or somethin.
blackwidowtaco 31
English, learn it.
EpicFishFingers 0
Break your foot off in his ass