Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML
Today, I was called a "wimp" and a "pussy" for crying and screaming after lightly bumping my hand on a wall. It’s been five hours and it still feels as though my skin is being ripped off the bones in my hand. FML
Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents while watching a terrible Netflix Christmas movie to get into the holiday spirit. Halfway through, I realized I had wrapped my scissors and tape inside one of the gifts. Now I’m sitting here with unwrapped gifts and a deep annoyance at Christmas all together. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
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Top comments
SabyTheDevil 0
owned by grandma!
ckjacques53198 0
screaming. Was that necessary? You really crave attention.
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Comments (57)
KittehSayzRAWR 0
Why are FML Grandma's so AWSOME!?
SmallTownCutie 0
Because they're all Betty White.
OhShuttup 0
agree
underpaid011 0
tell your grandmother that I love her! that's awesome.
Shaggy_92 5
EPIC WIN FFOR GRANDPAAAAA! EPICCCCC FAIL 4 u!
footballGOD58 0
It's Grandma, not Grandpa... Fail for you asswipe
OhShuttup 0
Fail for you dipshit^
traze 7
All these old folks FMLs sound like bullshit to me.
supertacowaffle 41
You got owned by your grandma. FYL
justbigbs 6
Despite what Grandpa thinks, that cut on the web F@#$@# hurts, men may not scream about it, but is an area that opens and closes, and the human body sweats thus salt on the wound. Use liquid bandaid.
Iluvbeinamommy 0
Ma, grandma.
monkeyCanDoMYJob 7
what's with people getting owned by their grandmothers on FML?
chanel5829 0
Ikr lol people getting pwned by grandmas
sammiesam221 0
cos it fukin AWESOME!!!
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
Lol I get you pain. I live in Washington too(;
SpRiTzSpLaSh 7
That's so mean :O
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
Actually, because of the high quantities of nerves in our fingers, a papercut really hurts.Not everybody wants to understand that, so FYL.
LilaBear 2
you're talking as if nobody on this post has had a papercut before. You don't need to give us a lesson in nerves and how papercuts "really hurt" - I am sure everyone here has had papercuts (I get loads of them at work as I work with paper filing a lot) and know what they feel like.