Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I finally put my Christmas lights up. In the process, a branch from the bush in my yard smacked me in the face, giving me a very noticeable scar on my nose. I have a photo session tomorrow. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML
Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
gleeeeek 7
You should jokingly push him in a frozen lake...
drooller 9
Make him pay for plastic surgery..
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Comments (178)
coralita 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sue your dad!
DooleyFTW 17
Parents are terrible these days!!
muzy 23
Your dad is a ******* retarded...
HahaHokayThen 10
What's with these FMLs about dads harming children "for a laugh"?
datguyuno 5
I think troll dads are funny but this is way out of line
ThatOneCanadian 0
how american
ClassyCommando 13
How Mustafarian.
sammyf89 13
48: from what I gather the dad didn't deliberately push the OP into the fire "for a laugh" but rather going for a joking scare. The OP slipped, causing the fall. Yes, it's the dads fault and fyl BUT I think it's unfair to say the dad deliberately harmed his child.
princessbits 17
71, The dad shouldn't have pushed his child towards the fire in the first place. He should have thought of what could happen beforehand to avoid an accident like this one.
sammyf89 13
Yes I agree with you. The dad was a dumbass and didn't think his "joke" through and its all his fault but like I said. I don't believe the dad set out to deliberately hurt the child. I.e no malicious intent. I was just rebutting that statement, not the dad's guiltiness.
zinoxity 23
Is your dad Peter Griffin?
GovernorGeneral 8
Awww thats so sad OP DDD;
farnsworth 3
Nobody likes meg anyways
teyyoshi 19
retarded is a past participle,isnt it ??
WellApparently 2
#1 is ******* hot, tsss
Jonkbaby 23
call the state and request new parents
milady666 2
Why is everybody so sue happy? It's an accident.
gleeeeek 7
You should jokingly push him in a frozen lake...
Torva_fml 16
Arizona has frozen lakes?
bitchslapped22 14
Take him to the Grand Canyon to dispose of him... :-)
Jakesterk96 8
Now you're going to take a lot of heat like "wow, you look hot today".
flamegrilled123 3
Dispose of him in a retirement home
tifani322 13
Hahaha say it was an "accident"
dav3800 7
Hit him and say it was an accident.
_courtney_02_ 1
Come to Canada we've got lots of frozen water ! :P
represent116 0
Ice???
drooller 9
Make him pay for plastic surgery..
RedPillSucks 33
sigh.... Yet another FML about preadolescence fathers.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Just more proof that men truly never grow up!
bizarre_ftw 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well they do **** your life
SystemofaBlink41 27
Nobody likes you when you're 23 and are still more amused by pushing kids in fire.
Alexunited1212 2
Are you saying that there is a certain age group that is allowed to push people into fires?
SystemofaBlink41 27
*sigh* nobody gets the reference *crawls back into bed*
supertacowaffle 41
3 years later, I do. Blink-182?
Climaxx 11
Holy moly! I hope they aren't to big, OP. ): But you can make up some herioc story to use on the ladies!
bitchslapped22 14
Unless OP is also a lady
Climaxx 11
Touché Bitchslapped22, touché.
likasumboooodi 0
hahaha hey baby look at this scar. I got it from saving a boy from a burning building. yeah it was intense but he made it alive yeah.....so you wanna ****?
ICATiger 13
Would have been funnier if he shouted 'burn baby burn' when he pushed you
finalone34 3
This is terrible but for some reason I laughed..
KiddNYC1O 22
Ditto lmfao. "My dad is the devil."
IStillReadBooks 8
That is probably one of the worst things I've ever read, but that was hilarious!
DEMACIA_fml 6
Your father is a douchebag... Still, is anyone else reminded of Darth Vader? Even though the dad did the pushing and the son got burned and whatnot... FORCE CHOKE YOUR DAD TO DEATH.
PYLrulz 17
I was thinking along the line of Kane.
THE_A_TEEN 28
NO, Have an epic fight on mustafar, watch himself be foiled by his own petard, watch him burn to half to death, destroy his precious Death Star, fight him on the second Death Star, watch him kill himself while killing the emperor, watch him die, take his dead body and burn him again, and smile while he becomes a Force ghost with Obi-Wan and Yoda. All is good...
DEMACIA_fml 6
Or just hit him with the burned Christmas tree.
hateevryone 15
you need to cut him.
Shrike 24
Why are all your comments so stupid?
ICATiger 13
Cut him?? Sounds like somebody's an emo....
Torva_fml 16
Sorry 20, only ghetto people "cut" each other. Hence the phrase, "I'm Finna cutchu nigga".
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
8 - Or not.
christian2234 15
You tell em shaniqua!
christian2234 15
You tell em shaniqua!
CataracsFan 10
Racist.. All ya'll!
KnucklesDeep 5
For a laugh, push him in front of a train.
innka 2
yea that would definitely leave a few scars as well...
SystemofaBlink41 27
he could die....
Alexunited1212 2
would*
innka 2
108-pushing someone into the fire could kill them too
1812mng 0
Thhis just made me bust out laughing
kickboxingchick 5
59~You know, just a few scars. It's all good.
A100893 30
Push him into the fireplace. (If you have one.)