Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML
Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before our closing time at 2 a.m. and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML
Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions, and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
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Top comments
logic368 8
Well, better out than in, they say!! Oh, wait...
JasonUMN 15
That brings a new meaning to the phrase, "spit it out".
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Comments (62)
j_cat187 20
At least he didn't bone you in the ear. Otherwise you would be a little hard of hearing.
Rainhawk94 27
just shut up
PenguinBitch 44
At least you didn't hear bull shit.
JessBassett 24
this made me cringe, I often have to do the same at my job!! So gross!
mFUNdo21 17
you often have to get an earful of vomit? I wouldn't want your job...
GEFStryker 29
Just your ear? Wish I could projectile vomit like that when I'm hammered. I usually have to change afterwards.
littlekellilee 45
I am so impressed that you know what your ear smells like. On a serious note, I feel terrible for you. I have a fear of things touching my ears, so I can't even imagine what I would do in this situation.
Enslaved 38
Impressed? But why wouldn't she know? :P Her ear is close enough to her nose. Even if you didn't smell vomit directly ex: someone threw up in say your car-- you'd already know your car smells of vomit even without a sniff.
littlekellilee 45
I assume OP washed his/her ear after and is referring to the lingering scent, something you don't smell unless you've either not cleaned well enough or if you're really close (eg. Chocolate on clothes... At least you hope its chocolate... Oh god it's not what did you sit in???).
rebelbelle 17
maybe he was muttering I'm gonna vomit
JhovannyA 7
That sucks OP. Get a new job
mFUNdo21 17
jobs grow on trees and are SO easy to get
raininginseattle 9
Well no wonder you couldn't hear. You had vomit in your ear.
tannara 12
Sounds like you got an ear full
yourmurderscenex 13
I know right? cause logic doesn't go out the window when you're hammered.