Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
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Top comments
Phoenixke 16
Should have given him water and said it was vodka...
FrietvanPiet 16
How can you even say he is a gentleman?
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Comments (81)
wholikesbacon 9
Dude, urinating on the floor isn't cool.
Soloman212 28
Isn't it what all the hip youngsters are doing these days??
friedpwnadge 25
Urinating on the floor is awesome :)
BntyHntrSeattle 30
13- No, not really.
Catkam623 27
24 it was a joke.
joshiepo0 18
I don't know about you guys but everybody my age pees their pants. It's the coolest. The guy who urinated on the floor just wasn't cool enough.
AnimeCookie 9
No, it's warm.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
26- I know :) but sarcasm, both the depiction (although it was clear in this case) and interpretation are bulldozed with a fuckhose online. Right?
Phoenixke 16
Should have given him water and said it was vodka...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Should've rubbed his face in it!!
badbadkitty 5
Haha! Someone that drunk wouldn't know the difference, or wouldn't care.
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
31- Point of the comment.
cgchamp89 7
Once you break the seal, it's just so hard to hold it... I feel sorry for the guy
Feared 9
Yup. Once you break the seal, urine trouble.
gc327072 31
Once you break a seal, PETA never leaves you alone. :( Don't make the same mistake I made, kiddos.
Maverick52 13
Once you rape a seal... Oh you said break?!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Well what happened to him?
ttqq 7
Im sure he had the cops called on him.
FrietvanPiet 16
How can you even say he is a gentleman?
rockstar362 8
I believe in this context gentleman isn't used to illustrate the quality of a mans character but is rather just a noun for a man
comedybreak 20
I don't comment very frequently but don't you mean synonym ?
rockstar362 8
Lol a synonym is a word that has the same or a similar meaning to a different word
comedybreak 20
Exactly, you wrote "noun for man." A noun is a person, place, or thing.
SerpentBoy 8
The real question is,if you did have alcohol to sell him.... would he have pissed on the floor anyway? My gut is saying yes..
perdix 31
Ironically, he ended up donating a substantial amount.
friedpwnadge 25
That must have pissed you off.
Phoenixke 16
+1 for you...
shan88 14
-1 for you...
zeenabxo 6
Did you have to clean it?
ManInTheMachine 20
Still a better love story than Twilight.* (*Relevance: an actor from Twilight, when kicked off of a plane for being drunk, pissed on the terminal floor.)
biloxi_girl 22
This was my first thought.