Today, I was working in bed when my boyfriend stumbled in, drunk as hell. He got on top of me saying he wanted sex. After a moment, he paused and said, “Sorry, I thought you were Stephen.” I’m a girl. Stephen is my father. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. An ex? A friend? A side guy? Nope, none of those. I called him “Dad”. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I woke up to my significant other talking in his sleep and soulfully professing his love for Stephanie. My name is not Stephanie. The only Stephanie he knows is a girl he worked at a hotel with over 10 years ago. He has done this at least twice a week since then. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Relax, OP! Stephen is a very common name, so you’re probably being cheated on with somebody else.
ragnarok1540 39
You can't really blame him. Stephen is one sexy DILF!
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Comments (7)
ragnarok1540 39
You can't really blame him. Stephen is one sexy DILF!
Tripartita 45
Relax, OP! Stephen is a very common name, so you’re probably being cheated on with somebody else.
exileonmainst 16
He could've been talking about Stephen Colbert, god knows that I have a man crush on him. Then again, your dad is pretty groovy too..
Lobby_Bee 18
He could be referring to Stephanie. Beware.
BanjoCheeseGuy 26
Damn, your father must be a King in bed!
Glowworm56 27
Okay, this comment made me laugh really hard.
thatslifeiguess7 16
Omg call shameless that's an episode