Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML
Dude, gross
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
First Dates
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Top comments
hotshot0185 15
Hope you got the number from the ad.
Accuraxy 10
It was pretty rude, but at least he has a sense of humor. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
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Comments (53)
MiseryLuvsCmpany 12
That sucks OP but maybe he was just trying to lighten the mood? If not, kind of rude don't ya think?
RodzillaX 30
Just be glad they really don't talk. Consider yourself lucky.
Martinez0285 28
well if they did.. you could be the new star of the commercial
LennyComa 39
That's still a better love stor....no wait to old Wart a .....no puns are out now to Justin Beiber refere......nah they are even wearing thin..................... At least he loves you wart's n all.....Best I can do today
AtomicDiamond87 15
So happy you finished a sentence
fsomelife 26
What'd they say in response?
Bevspeaks 11
Unless Op does only have one wart, but having dealt with warts before myself, I highly doubt there was only one wart. But there is always a first time
jeffwolff96 6
Well "wart" are you gonna do about it??
revolution4ever 14
I'm failing to see the FML in this. Your boyfriend didn't make fun of you and wasn't being mean so what's the problem, he spoke a legitimate statement?
HeartOfLead 24
Wart are you waiting for? Call them.
Grimnirwher9 21
If I would ever see a talking wart, I too would be disgusted.