Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Gastropod scandal
Today, one of my aquatic snails banged my other aquatic snail til they both died. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Envy
Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML
Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML
Stickler
Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML
Freakout
Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML
Dirty mind
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. Ten minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's ass crack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Top comments
Komatose 0
Oh come on people. Snails are sexy as HELL! Especially since they're too slow to get away...
ilikerainbows 0
i think i've seen that movie. i gotta admit, it was some pretty hot snail sex.
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Comments (277)
Kaaaaatie 0
well, at least you didn't get hard while it was two sea cucumbers doing the dirty. you wisely saved yourself for more complex invertabrates.
LavenderBlonde 0
#12, I kind of want to marry you <3
jokerman7734 0
ur hot #12.
mjsmclaren 0
You fail at life... and apparently with women
hawaii_love 0
wow. gross. you def. have issues.
kellybri 0
I'm trying to picture what it looks like when snails have sex... and I have nothing. Hm. Well, it must of been pretty good! lol ;)
secretsxsecrets 0
try snail-position next time
bonafidehustler 0
This is one of the stupidest FMLs I've ever seen, and there've been a lot of stupid ones.
keepitsimple 0
Yum, snail ****...
Froppo 0
wow talk about wanting to get s-nailed! HAHAHA!!!
4lw4yzl0n3ly 0
Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha.
daynerr 0
ahahahahahahahah
tellithowitis 13
hahahahahahahaha
dudeseriously 0
Well, to each his own...some guys are gay, others like snails...I guess we should just be tolerant of you.
greasy_broad 0
Dumbest FML ever. For real. Snails?! Seriously?! Gross. Gross gross gross. I like centipedes better.
Dale_xD 15
#21 LMAO! xD