Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML
Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML
Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML
Today, before watching the new Pinocchio, we decided to watch the cartoon one from the 1940’s. Turns out, when I was a kid, the scene where the evil Coachman’s face turns demonic traumatised me. I’d forgotten until I saw the face again. I’m 56 years-old but I froze up and peed myself in my armchair. FML
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML
Today, the girl I like came over to my house to watch a movie. We had seen pretty much every movie that I suggested, so we ended up watching The Lion King. I forgot how sad that movie is, because once Mufasa died I started bawling my eyes out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cradle6 13
Face your fear? Grow up? Get a real talking animal to desensitize you? I'm not all that sure.
perdix 31
Because you can't suspend disbelief. I'd freak out if dogs could suddenly talk. Mine would probably tell everyone about the peanut butter!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
JiggyBoo123 11
You don't like WINNING. (Charlie Sheen was in "All Dogs go to Heaven." Look it up.)
benderbot19 0
I don't want to look it up. I want first commenters to have something funny or intelligent to say, otherwise stop rushing to be first. WINNING is not funny anymore. Never really was...
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Im guessing Cats vs. Dogs would be the Blair witch project to you then?
YayorNay 8
5 - what a shitty situation. Btw this isn't funny either.
bubble25_fml 5
In that case, Bambi would be Paranormal Activity.
explodingmuffint 0
On the mobile version you can vote twice. Watch bolt :D it'll make you cry
awagh666 14
OP, don't look at #23's pic. You might get a heart attack
Sassybq1 13
HE WAS?! HOLY ****!!!!
ajourdhui 0
"let's make music togethaaa!" love that movie
TheTerenity 9
103- I stalked your profile description. Where have you been all my life c:
cradle6 13
Face your fear? Grow up? Get a real talking animal to desensitize you? I'm not all that sure.
leogirl95 12
What IS wrong with you??
flockz 20
Ferbies are creepy as hell.
clancey6 4
A ferbie would put him in a coma
cash_monkey72 9
A Ferbie could put me in a coma! Don't mess with them, they're scary as Hell
cradle6 13
Yeah I was going to say, ferbies are scary enough to a normal person, I can't imagine how OP would react.
j_cat187 20
A Ferbie ruined my child hood when it glitched out and made a screeching noise.
KOOLBRITKID 0
Good
Jiplo 18
not good. Ferbies are creepy enough when they work correctly, so just imagine what it would be like for a Ferbie to glitch out and screech at you. As a kid.
Raivyn_Grimm 9
I have to admit... If I got a job making furbees (as ridiculous as that may be), I would make one single furbee that every twenty or so sayings would say something creepy... like "Let's see how long you can hold your breath! Do you have any plastic bags?" or some such thing. Okay, maybe not one single furbee. But just a few. Am I a terrible person?
sajupt 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I hate dogs too.
Enslaved 38
Get ready to get thumbed down. Comments like that are a no-no on here. Lol
fthislyfe 22
OP doesn't hate dogs! He's just afraid of the fact the animals talk (in the movies)
tessie1423 0
You terrible terrible person...
Fruit_Dealer 9
Hey I dislike these cute, furry animals as well... NOT. Sorry I hadn't done one of these in way too long. Feel free to euthanize me now.
godbear 5
dogs hate u
boarder540 12
Damn cat lovers!
cash_monkey72 9
Bitch
xmayne 0
I love animals in general
Star928 7
The **** is wrong with you? Thats just like hating bacon.
guineagirl 18
And I hate assholes
aKaClickZ 4
You might want to get that checked out.
22cute 17
You're in deep denial of your psychic ability to hear animal communication, particularly dogs.
sparklybetty 0
Should have made your psychologist appointment long time ago, it'll really help :)
Feklfekl2222 32
Tell the phycologist you have zoolaliophobia or epitaliangiophobia.
ScarletBloom 14
What a dad you are
ScarletBloom 14
Posted wrongly.
jazziness 12
Could go for both posts.
Blueglasscup 18
Works better here though.
kduubb 7
o_0
twofirstnames 12
Your son seems to have more balls than you. Haha kidding but seriously?!
japtch 15
Why do people always measure strength in balls? Balls are squishy and sensitive. Maybe he should grow a ******, because vaginas take a pounding.
Cyacide 4
Didn't Betty White say that?
ohmylanta22 5
I think she might have.
BB_ava 0
47 has a point there.
22cute 17
Lol! That's the truth! Good point!
attaboy368 20
Betty White is that you? Glad you could take time to put in your two cents
alexzannder 0
Wtf where u doing with ur dick near the blades of a fan!??
Blueglasscup 18
Several hours of those darn "buddies" movies should fix that in a jiffy. Or make it several times worse but hey! Try it!