Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
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Top comments
QueenOrangeSoda 21
With such primitive uncivility, he sure didn't win the human race.
flockz 20
that was the most elegant insult i've ever read. *golf clap*
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Comments (77)
notanimmigrant 16
don't you know that no one likes to lose in the mario kart circuit?
belthazor909 4
My advise - find that SoB and pushed him to BBQ coal . Tit for tat
Grimnirwher9 21
Didn't Batman show up to aid you?
happyconverse 10
Why someone would do that to anyone, I cannot understand, poison ivy is horrible and I just swell up and get a rash whenever I get it. Go to the dr, and get some ointment cream for it. I know that this sounds totally crazy but putting wet oatmeal on the areas that are impacted by the poison ivy can also help. I don't know if my advice is helpful or not but I just feel so awful for anyone who comes in contact with poison ivy. I hope you feel better soon!
icepick23 12
He was from the future. The race is on March 18, 2017.
avi_7 9
How's your health right now? I heard poison ivy could be deadly.
SMurphy501 6
Hopefully you're like me and don't react! *smiles hopefully*
riashah 14
The streets are filled with idiots.
I_Am_Melanie 15
He probably did it for the Vine.