Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML
Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML
Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
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Top comments
DrSamba 7
What a prick! I would have kicked him in his shriveled old balls, and said, "I wanted to see if he would actually double over in pain"
kindameanalwaysfun 7
what an ass
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Comments (12)
RichardPencil 32
Probably jealous that you can jog while he can barely walk. You need to slow down around cripples, so as not to piss them off.
Stacy 4
WHAT? NO CRIPPLES NEED TO NOT ASSUALT PEOPLE. Doing shit like that could get them more crippled.....just saying.
Sam Siggers 8
he is joking, calm down. if you read the fmls everyday, you would notice this guy comments on every single one and usually has a joke. except for a slight few where he was trying to be helpful and caring. which isnt many but doesnt mean he doesnt care.
kindameanalwaysfun 7
what an ass
DrSamba 7
What a prick! I would have kicked him in his shriveled old balls, and said, "I wanted to see if he would actually double over in pain"
BurnInDemonFire 39
In this instance, retaliation would have been condoned. Against both of them, if the wife laughed at you.
donb23 23
I would have waited somewhere to see him get up and then sneak up behind him and just as he leans on his cane kick it. Old or not there is still no excuse for being an asshole. Or even better report him to the police and cause him of assault and battery.
Stacy 4
OMFG! DID U TAKE HIS CANE AND SMACK HIS WIFE IN THE HEAD THEN SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS? Im sure u would have been in ur rights to do so.....😠
Alessa Noriega 5
You should've pressed charges
Yudith 28
Looks like Biff from Back To The Future. Bullies like that have to be stopped young or else they end up like this old flatulence of a man. On the plus side, he already has one foot in the grave.
Daniel Heraty 2
Should've broke the cane in half and said "Just wanted to see if I could."
Lurker1 9
Should have tripped him over and said "just wanted to see if you could get back up"