Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
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Top comments
QueenOrangeSoda 21
With such primitive uncivility, he sure didn't win the human race.
flockz 20
that was the most elegant insult i've ever read. *golf clap*
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Comments (77)
ILoveMyArm 15
Well, I guess you better stock up on benadryl and home remedies.
worldclassrager 41
Get some aloe...and DON'T SCRATCH AT IT...that's how it spreads...get well soon...
TheGreatPotato 19
Sounds like he was acting a little ir'rash'ional.
olpally 33
Go chase him down and drag him into the poison ivy with you. What a douche.
RedPillSucks 33
That's a bit far to go for retaliation, no?
lwonderful 11
He shouldn't tool the time to figure out it wasn't actually the person he was in search for
Grimnirwher9 21
Yes, because it's totally OK to push people into Poison Ivy because they are able ro run faster than you. Dafuq, #33?
Wakachulak 22
It was the evolutionary race you beat him at.
grgnyce 8
That blows.
Altrnate_Reality 14
darn you op..why'd you have to look like the guy who beat him in that race!
Aregonde 15
Sounds like time travel was involved. I bet your future self is going to do something to really piss this guy off.