Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, I waved money at a passing ice cream truck and it kept going. So apparently I can't even get a date with a Sno Cone. FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
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Top comments
iAmPaul 49
That's extremely creepy.
joe3_fml 15
Better not make eye contact with him when you lick your ice cream.
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Comments (76)
buckdharma 38
Maybe he was just trying to show you he churns his own ice cream.
yuzuhere 21
He might also offer his fresh homemade syrups daily.
seeoseek 18
Suck it up buttercup ???
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's relevant how?
LuvNKisses4Eva 8
Oh it annoys me so much that people think it's okay to do that. It's actually a form of sexual harassment.
chrisxja 8
Yep, good to know that my ice cream was handled with good pure hands.
feven 32
This is the kind of person you keep away from children. The irony.
moniqueee18 13
Should have used him for the ice cream !!!
TheDevilWearsJoe 8
Why wouldn't you just look the other way?
stevenN659 24
that would be the smart option. I have noticed that very few people these days have common sense. its sad really.
limabeans101029 21
That isn't the point. It's really not nice knowing that some random creep is leering at you, even if you're looking the other way.
LowExpectations 30
That's just wrong....
AFaye3964 17
I'd cry as a felt creeped out
murhaaja 14
I immediately thought about Mr. Mercedes
frankiero 17
Me too!