Today, I started ordering food on Uber Eats, hoping to meet a cute delivery girl and start a conversation. I got deliveries from "Stacey", "Pamela", and "Julie." All three of them were men who spoke poor English. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I suggested ordering Uber Eats and my new boyfriend looked at me like I was suggested kissing a warthog, then ranted about how he's "not paying extra to get wrong cold food handled by an illiterate brown guy." Okay then. FML
Today, I think I found out just how many times I've ordered through UberEats when my delivery guy told me that, "We should stop seeing each other like this!" with a chuckle. FML
Today, I ordered a food delivery because I was too tired to cook. I tracked the driver on the app for 20 minutes before realizing I'd sent it to my old address. My former neighbor enjoyed my tacos more than I did. FML
Today, my husband is out with his buddies so I decided to have a solo night in and ordered Uber Eats for dinner. Two hours later, I was craving cheesecake and ordered through Uber Eats again like a little food gremlin. I got the same delivery guy, who now knows EXACTLY what I did. I'm hiding in my house until he leaves. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world, until I got to work and I was demoted. Then I ordered Uber Eats for lunch, the driver was late and gave me the wrong meal. The worst part was when I got home and was dumped by my girlfriend via text. FML
Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML
Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML
Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML
Today, as a waitress at Denny's, I had a 25 top table. Only 3 of them spoke English. FML
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
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Top comments
juuuliaaa_fml 28
As someone who orders from UE often, I feel this is made up. Their name and face must match the ID submitted to be a driver.
FluffythePink 23
I'm in the UK and it's a regular thing for someone who isn't the pictured driver to turn up. Pretty sure it's an illegal work thing. One legal person gets an account, does all the shift logins and then rents the use of it among a group of illegals. The food delivery places need to start putting a 'was your driver/delivery person the one in the picture?' button next to the Rate button.
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Comments (1)
juuuliaaa_fml 28
As someone who orders from UE often, I feel this is made up. Their name and face must match the ID submitted to be a driver.
FluffythePink 23
I'm in the UK and it's a regular thing for someone who isn't the pictured driver to turn up. Pretty sure it's an illegal work thing. One legal person gets an account, does all the shift logins and then rents the use of it among a group of illegals. The food delivery places need to start putting a 'was your driver/delivery person the one in the picture?' button next to the Rate button.