Today, I was texting my boyfriend. He continued to tell me how he had to piss. We carried on this conversation for about 10 minutes, then I realized that was the most interesting conversation I have had with him in weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend was talking to me on the land line when his cell phone rang. He told me to wait "two seconds" while he talked to a classmate. Their "two second" conversation lasted ten minutes, and now I can hear the French Open on the TV in background. He forgot he was talking to me. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML
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Top comments
YaboyVinnie 21
Just tell him to piss off.
Bakayarou_fml 0
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Comments (73)
simsfan 0
Well at least he doesn't only text you is when he is taking a crap like my lovely ex.
TRhoden91 0
Today my granny was gathering clothes for charity. She told me she gave away a pair of jeans that looked "old and tattered". Turns out they were my favorites and now there's a privileged person out there wearing a $450 pair of jeans. FML
SoccerSweetGirl 0
That happens to me all the time!
spd2fst4u 5
And what does that tell ya?
crashley21 10
Bodily functions can actually be very interesting to talk about with people. It's such a private thing it doesn't get talked about, so you can't be like "omg I do that too! "
bc4025567575 3
Wow sounds like California is more of a mess every single day with bimbos like this.
LaLexi 0
My boyfriend is the same way. Depressing much?
rkg0o18 7
I feel your pain...
morganlee 7
Thank you for your service!
justanotherhuman 21
lol, nice. I'm going out on a ledge here to presume OP's boytoy is pretty hot stuff, as apparently she was willing to put up with weeks on end of intellectual monotony. Clearly what's 'on the inside' isn't too important here, as we were on week *three*... and the icebreaker was talking about the logistics behind his need to operate his penis. These two have a promising future in the FWB department.