Today, I got a fantastic job offer at a nuclear power plant. My girlfriend seemed really shocked and upset when I told her. Apparently, working there will make me radioactive, and our children will be mutants. I don't know where to begin with this one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
Today, I was offered a job that pays almost double what I'm currently making. I just found out that it requires me to relocate to Florida. I'm forced to turn it down to protect my young trans daughter. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
Today, after my girlfriend of a year got accidentally pregnant, we were discussing it, and she only just now revealed she thinks vaccines are an evil conspiracy between hospitals and drug companies, and she’s carrying my baby. The next 18 years with this mad woman are not going to go well. FML
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, before I could realise what I was doing, I replied-all to an email chain about a huge company issue, saying, "FFS, this is ridiculous and moronic, and so is upper management." I’m still employed, but everyone now avoids me like I’m radioactive. FML
Today, I was offered a position as a trainer at a great company. My manager was livid when I told her. This is after she told me I was wasting my time trying to become a trainer and if I wanted to become one, I should apply elsewhere. FML
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Top comments
Middle Age Divorced Dad 17
Having kids children with her will make the children stupid.
MistressAfrodite 5
guess the only thing to suggest if you can’t convince her that this is ludicrous is to deposit your sperm into a sperm bank before you’re “radiated” lol.
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Comments (7)
MistressAfrodite 5
congrats on the new job
MistressAfrodite 5
guess the only thing to suggest if you can’t convince her that this is ludicrous is to deposit your sperm into a sperm bank before you’re “radiated” lol.
ahabsfan 17
Do they have spiders?
Middle Age Divorced Dad 17
Having kids children with her will make the children stupid.
Rake 18
Working in a power plant does have its risks. Being exposed to radiation is one of them. For example, that is why procedures are much stricter to married women.
Radulf 10
Working in an environment where we are handling radioactive substances, I can assure you that men and women, married or not, are treated the same. Only exception is pregnant women. Once a women declares being pregnant, they are assigned a job where they are not getting near radioactive substances. Don't forget, women don't have to be married to become pregnant.
Rake 18
Sounds like the flashback episode from the simpsons
TomeDr 25
Why don’t you start with educating her so you can put her fears to rest?
Crowned Sataness 12
actually I have a friend who's dad worked many years at a plant and damaged his sperm, said friend is albino and legally blind. BUT safety has come a long way in the last 45 years he's been alive