Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. I also found out that my best friend knew about it all along. When I confronted him, he tried to justify the betrayal by saying that she paid him to keep quiet. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again, but I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out." My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML
Today, the night before an exam, I found out my boyfriend of one and a half years was cheating on me with a girl who has the same name as me. Not only that, I ended up consoling her for hours as she cried over him. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me. A friend had brought this to my attention. She was under the impression that we broke up because she’d seen stories of him and another woman. I found out he changed his story settings to hide the specific posts with that other woman from me only. FML
Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML
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Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
When you gotta go, you gotta go, no matter what's going on. I'm not going to piss my pants for anyone; unless you're into that sort of thing.
HaloR 0
Help comes in many forms,i guess in this case it was piss
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Comments (228)
HaloR 0
Help comes in many forms,i guess in this case it was piss
BarDownDaily 12
Mans gotta do what mans gotta do.
n_epic_fail 14
The fact that you got a guy to listen to your relationship problems is close to a mirical, so just be thankful (piss or no piss). But if you suggest kidnaping your cheating ex and feeding him to snakes he might be a bit more interested. Revenge and bonding time.
MrSassypants 34
Well technically 1, her help did not come from piss but piss is helpful if you got stung by a jellyfish or some sort of that.
BarDownDaily 12
27- Just no.
The_Troller 14
27- Or if you're Bear Grylls.
JoshTheMaggot 8
At least he didn't take a shit. That would be worse
MrSassypants 34
28 Yes. Quoting yourself somewhat quoting someone else, "Mans gotta do what mans gotta do".
BarDownDaily 12
42- What?
MrSassypants 34
I was thinking you were saying that pissing on a jellyfish sting would do nothing but instead you were calling my comment stupid. Well then good day to you sir, yada yada yada ya, I bid you a farewell.
Overseer211 1
Guys...what if he liked her and he got friend zoned.....that might be why he shows a lack of interest
HahaHokayThen 10
4- I was literally about to say that. OP, of course I'd be offended, but considering it's a guy they might not be as delicate about it? I look at it this way- he didn't hang up on you so he could pee! At least he listened & tried, rather than hanging up or not picking up.
lerouxmaster 7
Hey OP, I guess you pissed him off !
GoW_Chick 15
Anyone notice the OP's username "fuckthepopo" weird right, I mean it makes you wonder if it has anything to do with the FML it's self.
MfailK 0
popo as in police you DEtard.
MfailK 0
popo as in police you detard.
evilscorpi 29
well see when i really gotta use the bathroom i put it on mute.
GoW_Chick 15
I know what popo stands for DIPshit, I was saying the username was weird and didn't fit in with the FML, so shut it, thank you.
ihasbrains 10
100 - maybe her boyfriend is the popo! lulz.
Codezlol 21
27 actually urine is in no way good what-so-ever for jellyfish stings.
ChronicBluntz420 7
Op, no guy wants to be stuck in the friendzone.
cookie_3008 4
Funny how you think your friend peeing is worse than your boyfriend cheating... Anyway, your ex is an asshole, and your friend apparently needs to stop taking liquids. ;)
nahgemoohc 17
Hey the man was urgent! At least he took the time to talk to you despite that!
amounirl 0
your best friend is a beta white knight
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I doubt the username has anything to do with the FML. I am guessing that person who posted this FML probably didn't create their account just for this one story. If you are an FML reader first and a FML poster second your username may not mesh to your FML.
gman90210 18
Well what you complaining for at least he was listening to ya
junitatheangel 0
Actually pee hasn't been proven to have any sort of healing ability at all. Not even for jelly stings.
Dimence 9
"I piss on you and your problems" is the secret message of the conversation since he is your "best friend" but I guess he's just another poor guy who got friendzoned. I've gone through the exact same thing but instead of pissing, I said straight to her face "that's what you get when you go after the looks bitch." we were actually good friends but I was just pissed by standing there, offering everything she needs, supporting her all the time, while she blindly went after the ******* looks. So op, I hope you've learnt to give the nice guy a try. YDI.
ladiesman289 1
you sure he wasnt masturbating ???
Ryan9295 3
That sucks! / :
xSonic 9
I would've been pissed
lebronesque73091 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Most guys are jerks. Hopefully you'll find the right person, someday.
silentbutfunny 0
Whats up with op's name?
ambamm135 7
79 That'd be a bloody mess. There would be no head left only...mush >.
laughterislife 2
Does anyone realize the OP's name.
every1luvsboners 11
When you gotta go, you gotta go, no matter what's going on. I'm not going to piss my pants for anyone; unless you're into that sort of thing.
JustinComments 3
"Golden Showers" . One of the grossest fetishes .
silentbutfunny 0
I dont get how we went from pissin on the phone to pissing on each other, 38 care to explain?
BarDownDaily 12
39- They're are much most disgusting fetishes. For example: Pedophilia, ***********, Incest.
MrSassypants 34
49 Well, to be fair, 38 did say ONE of the grossest fetishes.
BarDownDaily 12
60- And I was saying that is was NOT one of the grossest. And that plenty of fetishes are worse. I would rather hot a hot chick pee on me then **** a dog, a 3 year old, or my grandmother.
silentbutfunny 0
Dont forget 1,000 ways to die: vomit fetish
IKickPuppiesHard 16
63- Just because you want to be pissed on doesn't mean anyone else does. Other activities being more disgusting doesn't make another become acceptable.
BarDownDaily 12
74- Before you try to be a smartass why don't you ******* read the original comment that started this.
silentbutfunny 0
FLAME ON!!
MrSassypants 34
Well it could still be considered on of the grossest fetishes. Yes they are fetishes that are grosser but it can be considered to be a pretty gross fetish. Also, other than the beginning, I agree with 74. That is what my point was. Surely let's resolve this matter by saying there is a lot of gross fetishes instead of flinging flaming shit at each other.
every1luvsboners 11
I'm talking about pissing in my pants, not physically pissing on someone. If you want a golden shower I can eat some asparagus and head your way, tough guy. Baste in the urine...
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Oooooo, BURN!!! Oh wait, that was totally directed at me. Well ****. My comment still stands irregardless.
BarDownDaily 12
When did I say I want one? I said they were not as bad as some of the freakier fetishes. My God, the literacy rate of FML must be horrendous.
every1luvsboners 11
Bardown, I didn't say you wanted one, you illiterate ****. I said "if you want one." Who's the illiterate idiot now, dickstick?
BarDownDaily 12
90- "If you want a golden shower I can eat some asparagus"
BarDownDaily 12
95- YDI for playing basketball in Canada. Let's be honest, the coach was probably a Janitor as well. We are not very good at basketball, despite inventing it.
JoshTheMaggot 8
Does necrophilia count as a fetish? Cuz that would be one of the grossest as well
BarDownDaily 12
101- Forgot about that one, good call.
aissie 2
92- You should probably read what you just posted. To quote a quote, "IF you WANT one". Key words are everywhere. Proceed to re-read and re-read until it completely soaks in.
DocBastard 40
Worst. Flamewar. Ever.
The_Hitdude 12
DocBastard-Yeah the one under the boss and the boobs FML was a lot better...
ninjacapo 2
49- you forgot necrophilia ;). -shudders-
The_Hitdude 12
#183 What does your comment have to so with anything?
xcrazymonkey32x 0
He should have aimed for the side of the toilette for a good 'ol ninja piss
abbyhoneywaffles 11
95- Eskimo schools? Really? Our schools are not much different from the schools in America, so educate yourself please.
_kfchicken 4
Actually the public school in Canada are much better then most of the ones in the us and have a lower drop out rate
Cat_Daniels 6
LOL I would be like "ur pissing isn't really making me feel better..."
MrSassypants 34
His response "Well you talking to me about your break-up isn't helping me piss better either" or if he sticks to the one or two word rule "My bad" or "Yeah."
StalinsHeir 1
Yeah but it'd sure be making him feel better.
EvanescenceLuver 12
Awww, I'm sorry. Don't worry, you'll find someone knew who will be a thousand times better than that asshat. Also, your best friend.... Not the best timing, man.
Tmania_fml 1
He had to pee, what do you want him to do? Pee his pants?
twilight_lupus 13
Maybe he was about to pee when she called and he didn't want to hang up because she needed somebody to talk to and he couldn't hold it any longer.
menm0i 0
He Didn't want the convo to end. Multi-tasking : )
juturnaamo 29
That's what I was thinking! Who wants to say "Sorry you were dating a bastard, but I gotta piss"? Plus, he's probably hoping this'll get him laid
fattylumptard 1
Give him a break he had to listen to you bitch about nothing
CryMoreFMLs 15
8 - I hope someone breaks your heart, maybe then you'll realize OP's situation.
WCARlover 35
Nothing? Clearly you've never had a gf you've ever really cared about
GoW_Chick 15
She wasn't BITCHING you dipshit, she was seeking comfort in her best friend, because her boyfriend CHEATED on her, stop being an insensitive jerk.
MrSassypants 34
Telling an idiot who does not understand a simple thing to not being an insensitive jerk, is like telling a baby to not be a baby. The only difference is that the baby will stop being a baby over time but the idiot will remain an idiot.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Fattylumptard, "bitch about nothing"?? BITCH ABOUT NOTHING?!?!!?!?1?11!!!1!!!1!1!!1,?! Her boyfriend CHEATED ON HER, in case your tiny brain can't understand: She caught her boyfriend in a relationship (or having sex) with another girl! My dad cheated on my mom (and she "practically" cheated on my dad beforw they officially divorced), I went through these situations as a second party spectator, I know where OP is coming from. You are a heartless ass-wipe, please open your mind to these situations before your ignorance post crap for you!!
MrSassypants 34
Well I am sorry for what you went through A_TEEN, but seeing your parents cheating on each other and being cheated may be similar, they are different things. You do not know what OP's been going through unless it has happened to you.
THE_A_TEEN 28
You're right, sassy. They're similar situations, not that comparable than what I had in mind.
chels1994 11
This makes me somewhat suspicious that you've cheated on someone before -_-
fattylumptard 1
Clearly you are a raging feminist who has never seen a penis before.
fattylumptard 1
She is an idiot. What chick bitches to a dude about shit. That's what girlfriends are for so they can bitch to each other about shit. No dude gives a **** unless it is his girlfriend and then he has to.
THE_A_TEEN 28
There are guy's who give a ****, you moron.
chels1994 11
1) I'm a "raging feminist" because I don't think people should cheat on each other? Damn...guess I have been a raging feminist for quite some time. 2) Telling me I've never seen a penis before? Are you 12? 3) Some girls have guy friends that actually want to help and listen to them when they are depressed. You're obviously not one of these types of friends, and so what? Not everyone likes people to vent to them. I personally don't either. Even so, sometimes what seems to you like "bitching over nothing" can have a big affect on other people. But, you're probably not going to care about any of what I just said, and it's cool. Just figured I might as well state my case while I'm browsing. Have a nice day.
silentbutfunny 0
8 your name fits
DeOilers 9
He should piss off! What a jerk.
DeOilers 9
I regret my statement.
Captain0bv10us 0
What's wrong with that? At least he disn't hang up to take a piss.
GoW_Chick 15
I love how your comment says "disn't" :D No one mess with it! *pulls out light saber*
Captain0bv10us 0
oops :/
mpsteve137 15
I would be pissed off too. (prepares for an onslaught of thumbs down) I regret nothing.