Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
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Top comments
Eir_fml 1
5 second rule? pick it up and eat it? C'mon. rip off the bad part and eat the rest. Unless you were at some truly filthy place. Or make her pay for another if you don't get anything out of it. Or buy another. Really, is it that much? It's like saying, FML, I lost 2 dollars. It doesn't sound too bad...
knitbitch 0
@#10, It's an empanada. You should try one sometime. Then you'll feel his/her's pain.
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Comments (56)
Eir_fml 1
5 second rule? pick it up and eat it? C'mon. rip off the bad part and eat the rest. Unless you were at some truly filthy place. Or make her pay for another if you don't get anything out of it. Or buy another. Really, is it that much? It's like saying, FML, I lost 2 dollars. It doesn't sound too bad...
vjf9000 0
dude it couldn't been homemade!
popcorn_fml 0
i think it would be more of an FML she purposely knocked the empanada out of your hand...
regal 0
ok seriously that is the worst thing thats happened to you? Why the hell did you bother posting that?
deayandrax3 0
ITS A FLIPPING EMPANADA ! I WOULD CRY IF SOME DRUNK CHICK MADE ME DROP MINE :(
knitbitch 0
@#10, It's an empanada. You should try one sometime. Then you'll feel his/her's pain.
PinkElephants713 6
So what would you prefer? a.) a drunk girl hugging you with glee, and possibly taking you back to her hotel ooooor... b.) morning over your dropped empanada? I think (a) all around!
miianah1 22
*mourning
MukyDaCookie 0
Did she invite you in?
dani_fizzle 0
wow uhh, go get another one you fruit
dani_fizzle 0
wow uhh, go get another one you fruit
TheBrunetteDevil 0
whats an empanda?
jazzykinss 1
A bread thing that you stuff things like apples or meat
lil_ham1644 29
I actually got one once from a market that was stuffed with mac & cheese! It was so good!
xXNancyXx 0
im with 15.. what the hell is this elusive food?
starberries 0
Have you ever heard of google? Jesus Christ.
Jessabear143 4
37 - ass
Rockyio 0
...i would have gone to the hotel with her lol