Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said, "What are you, babysitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on a giraffe, yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, my older boyfriend and I went shopping together. When we arrived at the till, the cashier looked at me and asked, "Is this your pop?" I replied "No, this is my boyfriend, but we get that a lot." She paused, pointed at the case of Coke in the cart and said again, "Is this your pop?" FML
Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
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Top comments
ptrek85 0
This FML is faaaaaaabulous!!
nodbor 11
did you not get the memo that pink is the new blue for straight men?
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Comments (151)
morgan_5230 0
YDI completely. What you said was bitchy and totally not funny.
rupindah 0
LOL at #4. Er... guys I know wear pink. All the time. It's like, their crack now. I don't even wear as much pink as them. [Except I wear none at all...] But YDI. >.> Really. Don't talk bad about old people; they're amazing.
nickilikeewoahh 0
I moderated this :)
hono_fml 0
So wait, how is being 'gay' insulting?
AK 2
Saying someone is homosexual isn't insulting, but assuming the sexual orientation of somebody just because they're wearing a pink shirt is.
elanajoy 0
deserved it. definitely agree with #67. and pink is DEFINITELY an in-color for straight men! epic fail.
000001 0
Hopefully he doesn't break up with you after that.
strike9 0
#9, your stupid, and the submitter, shame on you you homophobe
tentenjen 0
When you say that's so gay, do you realize what you say?
peazeful 0
homophobic language~first~judge too fast~second~ur bf's grandfather~third=EPIC FAIL