Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said, "What are you, babysitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on a giraffe, yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, my older boyfriend and I went shopping together. When we arrived at the till, the cashier looked at me and asked, "Is this your pop?" I replied "No, this is my boyfriend, but we get that a lot." She paused, pointed at the case of Coke in the cart and said again, "Is this your pop?" FML
Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
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Top comments
ptrek85 0
This FML is faaaaaaabulous!!
nodbor 11
did you not get the memo that pink is the new blue for straight men?
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Comments (151)
Link5794 18
lostinthelight 0
If the color pink makes you gay, whay color makes you straight?
ktbolt21 0
blue isn't ******* gay!
ollie179 21
men are allowed to wear pink you bitch
AmericanGirl69 0
why didn't you say, I mean the happy gay..?
ElSkaterGuy 2
ydi for being a homophobic
bigscarybunny95 0
Old people should be able to wear whatever the hell they want, without being remarked at by idiots like you.
Iellwen 12
Anybody should be able to wear whatever they want (as long as it does not go against the basic rules of co-habitation. You know, like a person walking around showing parts that should not be seen in public etc) without having some close-minded ***** waiting for them around the corner... I mean, as long as it does not harm anybody in any way (and "harming my eyes" or "fashion" or some other crap does no count), I don't see the problem...
zhenluo 0
that's what you get for being so close-minded.
FMLucky 5
What kind of **** makes fun of old people? The cuntiest kind, thats who?
KeiIshiyama 10
You deserve it for assuming he was gay because he wears pink, and for being a possibly homophobic ****. **** you, *****.