Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said, "What are you, babysitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on a giraffe, yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, my older boyfriend and I went shopping together. When we arrived at the till, the cashier looked at me and asked, "Is this your pop?" I replied "No, this is my boyfriend, but we get that a lot." She paused, pointed at the case of Coke in the cart and said again, "Is this your pop?" FML
Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
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Top comments
ptrek85 0
This FML is faaaaaaabulous!!
nodbor 11
did you not get the memo that pink is the new blue for straight men?
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Comments (151)
effmailyfe 0
i hope your boyfriend thinks you're as insensitive and lame as i do.
tdawgheath 0
#10...insecure much? I wear whatever I want, even pink, and I don't care if people think I'm gay...I'm straight.
Fields4mint 0
YDI... real men wear pink.
blackxmortals 0
OMG PEOPLE! Being called gay is not an insult. I'm so sick of that shit.
Ampathy 0
agreed with #24, 84, and 85, nothing wrong with guys wearing pink and people that automatically say they're "gay" are just idiots
DynamicDave 11
You're my hero! If I were your boyfriend I'd have laughed! Don't listen to these people. they're a bunch of oversensitive people with anger issues and no sense of humor. ;p
Jordykins 0
No, actually they're mature people who understand "gay" is offensive when used as a negative adjective.
Iellwen 12
Next time, we'll have a "Today, a coloured humanoid* crossed my path. I looked at my BF and said: look, a ni**** has escaped! My BF just stared at me, called me a racist and dumped me. FML" and a wonderful comment like "Aww don't listen to the other morons with there comments about how you're a racist or whatev'. I know better and I'm not an oversensitive person with anger issues and no sense of humor, since I have no brains and do not care about others. As long as I can make fun of people, who cares! Let's be homophobic, racist, discriminating! Those who might get hurt in the process are just morons that have a broom up their arses! Oh! I know! Let's just completly stop trying to respect one another's views, let's just crap on people that are different and that we don't understand! Let's get the KKK back in the game! Oh! And let's bring Hitler back! He'll understand gay jokes! Man that man knew how to party...!" (I know I'm pushing it but I'm making a point here.) *I'm trying to be politically incorrect but since I'm no racist, I have no idea what kind of demeaning words one might use... When you start labelling people because of how they look, you start discriminating. When you start using words that describe a minority, a group of people with common traits, to describe an attitude, a way of thinking, of being or whatever, especially if you use these words to describe something negative (Like Greedy &/or rich=Jew or Pink clothin &/or nice guy=Gay, etc..) you start being discriminating. And so on. See, I'd say I have humor. I'd say I'm a funny person. But there are things you cannot joke about without knowing that your audience knows you're joking. Indeed, one can laugh about everything and everyone. I'd say you can only start making fun of people when you can make fun of yourself. Otherwise you're just a prick with low self-esteem and a crooked, tiny mind. Btw, people, remember that when you start saying those kinds of things out loud in public places, kids might hear you and start repeating what you say. And the vicious circle is fed.
TallMist 32
#114 So much this
Azofafora 0
YDI for being a douche.
ambrz 0
ydi for being a bitch!
bossybanks 0
just because he is wearing pink doesn't mean he's gay. ydi!
ChicaChica5683 0
who makes fun of old men? rly?