Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said, "What are you, babysitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on a giraffe, yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
Today, my older boyfriend and I went shopping together. When we arrived at the till, the cashier looked at me and asked, "Is this your pop?" I replied "No, this is my boyfriend, but we get that a lot." She paused, pointed at the case of Coke in the cart and said again, "Is this your pop?" FML
Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ptrek85 0
This FML is faaaaaaabulous!!
nodbor 11
did you not get the memo that pink is the new blue for straight men?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
_7_Anonymous_7_ 0
I'm straight and pink is my favorite color. When I wear pink or see other guys wearing pink i just feel like it says "I am unafraid of being judged by close-minded people who conform to society's stereotypes" I don't just wear it to make a point though, it looks sexy as hell.
nazooer 11
YDI you judgemental bitch
betterthanthou 0
I'm glad this happened. Men should never under any circumstances wear pink. I am closed minded, I know. The more morons try to protest my closed mindedness, the more close minded I will become. Either way, I win and you lose.
rityz 0
foolish homophobe why cant men wear pink?
starvingxartist 0
you should be bitchslapped, one, for making fun of old people, and two for making fun of gay people.
lalosaa 0
hahahh aww! you definitely deserve that one. i agree with #77. and your boyfriends so cute... papaw? i am going to call my nonno that from now on.
ammali 0
LOL, that sucks. I agree though, I can't see a man in a pink shirt without thinking how gay it looks. Not like there's some big problem with him being gay, it's just... yeah. So nothing wrong with you pointing out what should be obvious. Just awkward that it turned out to be his grandpa!
mastershake 0
hahahahahaha i think you're suffering from Footinmouth disease
thelonelylurker 0
Not FML. Not unless he withdraws the huge inheritance he was leaving you and have convince all your family to do the same...
a_z_0_9__fml 0
that's so ******* funny i actually laughed out loud at that