Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML
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Top comments
IreadFMLnaked 0
This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.
lolzRaptor 1
If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.
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Comments (257)
ithappenshz 0
awwwe im sry guyy D=
laters_taters 0
Shit r serious face?
Deathbreak 0
Fyourlife. People have phobias, it just sucks that 1. it happened while you were taking a dump and 2. your bro needs a punch in the face.
vdubz 0
YDI for living 17 years and not knowing that the dark won't hurt you...
Traum_fml 0
Are you serious? I mean shit people have phobias but dont you think something so common as dark you may have conquered by the age of 17! Like it gets dark every night, when you turn off the lights, in movie theaters and other places you go for entertainment. How do you live without being in constant fear. You should suck it up and face you fear, shit by the age of 7 most kids arent even afraid of the dark.
SureYaDid 0
Are you the same fag who is scared of butterflys? Stop telling people you play football fag
Stragler 0
Sorry for luck, mate.
m1h1m 0
#178...i hope you know that emotional./mental fear can cause you to do anything...
sayheyyybabe 0
Poor nyctophobiac.
LoosechangeXxXx 0
What is the point of putting something fake on seriously and if that where actually true grow some balls.