Today, I discovered that you can vomit hard enough to break a rib and tear a ligament. Why was I barfing so violently? The stray cat I'm feeding has given me worms. I found one during "down there cleanup" time. I got laughed at by EMS, nurses, doctors, and my family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML
Today, I was violently sick. There was so much vomit forcing itself out that I dislocated my jaw. I continued throwing up with a dislocated jaw for an hour or so. FML
Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
Today, I think I've finally gotten past the food poisoning that caused me to puke so violently that I pulled muscles in my abdomen and chest. Unfortunately, some of that vomit hung around long enough to give me a sinus infection. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML
Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
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Top comments
MandySkittles 18
You don't wash your hands after touching a wild animal? Ew. Worms are mostly transferred through feces or uncooked meat..
Deez_Knots 10
Any medical personnel who laughs at one of their patients doesn’t deserve to have a job
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Comments (15)
Dave_Davington 34
Lol
MandySkittles 18
You don't wash your hands after touching a wild animal? Ew. Worms are mostly transferred through feces or uncooked meat..
Yahya25 9
Why would you cook feaces?
Dave_Davington 34
What, you'd serve it raw? Gordon Ramsay would most definitely not approve.
Phillycheeze 20
It's a stray cat for a reason. cat the other white meat.
Rabite 28
I had nightmares about this when I was younger and found a dead worm in my bed after sleeping together with my (outdoor) cat. Fortunately, nothing ever happened.
tarabella 7
Uummm...you do know you're not supposed to french the cat, right?
Shawnie Gallant 24
Big deal. Wash your hands next time, and since you’re caring for a stray cat, most places make you responsible for the cat by law. Go buy fluffy a dewormer.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
i hope they all contract worms fuckem
silentbabydeer 10
Fork them! They shouldn’t laugh at your misery!
KIEdekka 14
1. took in a stray cat 2. it's a cat 3. you were cleaning up after it, how did you not see this coming?
Deez_Knots 10
Any medical personnel who laughs at one of their patients doesn’t deserve to have a job