Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
MrsPegg 45
So a bird busted through a glass door/window to go after your fish? That's one helluva determined (and sturdy) bird! What did the cops say?
mds9986 24
At least you played it safe when you heard some fishy sounds in your house.
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Comments (36)
itsalanis 25
Yeah, get that jailbird!
aeryn97 17
you've made my day. lol. glad you're ok and safe
Sudoc 29
But...it could have been a predator!
sailorarctic 22
i can't properly vote on this because you did the smart thing. if it had been an intruder you potentially saved your own life by not confronting them. good on you OP.
GAeroNKissR 26
Maybe there was an intruder & the bird flew in after. That's less embarrassing. On the other hand, you get more peace of mind knowing it was just a bird. but just think...what if the intruder is still inside...hiding...& waiting. Ok, goodnight!
Hildy93 21
I just want to know if the fish fish died
Goblin182 27
I had a friend call the cops on a B&E. finally figured out a squirrel had come down an old chimney.
Cherry83_fml 3
This is funny but at the same time you played it safe. Glad you're ok! is the bird going to pay for the broken window? =P
Xion0014 20
Whats your window made out of? Ice? I could never imagine a bird breaking through a window for fish xD.. That is unless it was a hawk, eagle or crow maybe
justanotherday7 7
Scared on the toilet is never a good thing