Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML
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Top comments
False_Stupidity 42
All you had to do was tell it to piss off! But no, you had to do it the hard way. You cocked up and now urine trouble.
maryiah 21
Hopefully this happened at home, not in a public restroom.. Sorry op
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Comments (104)
goudou_fml 19
Better covered in pee than bitten by a mosquito, OP
ThomasBombadil 31
Got a skeeter on my peter and I can't get it off!
vikky538 29
that mosquito have been pissed you off real bad...
brivielle 15
#29 okayyy...where to start
Tayleena97 11
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.... Oh, wait,
lizard365 12
damn that just sucks at least you were not but that would be very uncomfortable
beanthemouse 13
Hey, at least some girl was intrested in sucking your dick! ;)
TvSmith 8
Well you have to admit it's pretty funny
thrlyrist 6
So you have to choose between pissing yourself all over and having a itching dick? Tough choice! Either way, You just cockblocked a mosquito!
EpicGuy70 13
Nothing with a needle for a mouth should be ever sucking your dick. I would stomp that little bastard into the ground!
buckdharma 38
There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off. There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off. There's a dozen on my cousin can't you hear those bastards buzzing? There's a skeeter on my peter, knock it off.