Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the cops showed up at my work because people were fighting in the parking lot. This is a nightly occurrence. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML
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Top comments
cumberbunny 17
Throw cold water on them - if they're going to act like alley cats treat them like alley cats.
gjikvtj 18
Whats wrong with you? Nobody talks about fight club
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Comments (73)
gjikvtj 18
Whats wrong with you? Nobody talks about fight club
ktmla 14
Rule #3 of fight club, if someone says stop or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.
tacojauns 45
Fun theory: As you know the first 2 rules of Fight Club are "don't take about fight club", but since everyone talks about fight club the first 2 rules are set in place to let members know that their going to be breaking the rules.
Soloman212 28
Actually, in the movie, they don't talk about Fight Club. They just silently acknowledge each other.
incoherentrmblr 22
If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself...
Helpfulman 17
OP should just call again, and if they did it again, beat the shit out of them with an electric laser taser.
cartoonboy 26
That sucks that you have horrible neighbors bro
chickenfeet223 11
Looks like they been called on before
cumberbunny 17
Throw cold water on them - if they're going to act like alley cats treat them like alley cats.
jjammy10 2
PREACH!
thesimp 6
Then they just beat up the OP instead
swag_bear 18
We'll they are pretty smart to hide in the bushes.
silvercamaro 22
They're smart enough to hide in the bushes, but couldn't just go inside to finish their fight? Or better yet work things out while hiding?
Helldemon 32
Ya, I think it's kind of funny they could stop their fight long enough to hide from the cops and then just continue on after they left.
gramirez23 9
#4 well **
Dodge4x4Ram 46
next time call Ghostbuster haha
speakersboom 19
...for a domestic dispute between two idiots?
cryssycakesx3 23
ghosts. makes sense. yeah...
edward80 18
Just buy yourself a taser, you will be stunning !
meli1195 31
Ba dum tss
BoltTheSuperdog 22
The neighbors would definitely be shocked!
mt631 18
People are so inconsiderate these days. You should have called the cops again and told them that they were in the bushes.
DocBastard 40
"Hey look, officer! They're in the bushes!" Is that so difficult?
da_poiler 3
that's not a good reason to arrest people. OP has no proof they were fighting and hiding in a bush isn't illigal.
Enslaved 38
OP probably just called the cops but wanted to remain anonymous. If the couple are fighting each other I'm sure they'd lash out at the OP for getting into their "business". Didn't you watch the movie "Neighbors"?
MidnaLink 35
Oh god, that movie was almost as funny as The Heat!
PrincessCastiel 27
Cop Appreciation Week everyone :3 Nah, but you should of told the cops they were hiding in the bushes
cryssycakesx3 23
of. have. same thing...
lizard365 12
well damn that just sucks how rude next time just throw ice water on them and tell them to get a room