Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML
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Top comments
False_Stupidity 42
All you had to do was tell it to piss off! But no, you had to do it the hard way. You cocked up and now urine trouble.
maryiah 21
Hopefully this happened at home, not in a public restroom.. Sorry op
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Comments (104)
Dontalktome 9
Question.... how big was the mosquito that you can't swat it away with one hand while holding your junk with the other? Is alcohol involved In this? cause that would make so much more sense.
worldclassrager 41
I am not sure what would be worse getting bitten on the dick or pissing everywhere
cryssycakesx3 23
pee washes off.
katiesha 9
if you peeed all.over your self trying to get a sketer, you might need to work on your aim.
brivielle 15
#55 OP probably wasn't trying to drown d mosquito in pee... Or was he?
brivielle 15
.
katiesha 9
idk either way he still got pee all over himself... wouldn't be surprised if the skeeter went home pee free
joshi42 16
You should have let it land and hit it with something heavy.
Mandybruin 15
Art thou mad??
miissmm 5
It just wanted the D!
Flaptrap 8
The same thing happened to me but I didnt notice it until it landed. When I saw it on my peepee I instinctively swatted at it, hitting myself in the nuts so hard that I fell over while squirting pee everywhere.
tman1985 9
ydi
ibanghellokitty 8
O_O Lol shu fly don't bother me
Beansforbill 14
Did it still end up biting you ?
captainsmegma 12
For a mosquito? Really you'd piss all over yourself. A real man would have let him bite and then get is favorite gal to kiss it and make it all better.
brivielle 15
#64 Are you for real?
tman1985 9
Oh honey, I just love you so much, that I want to give you the gift of malaria
conman531 23
Dude, you weren't pissed off, you were pissed on