Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
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Top comments
TiggityTony 5
Fatality.
gc327072 31
Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!
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Comments (247)
Dusty_Busters 15
Free dinner! Woooooo!
Bicko2004 25
Murderer
Bicko2004 25
Oops hit return by mistake. Turkey dinner any one.
Bicko2004 25
I'll have gravy and 2 veg with mine
cmb8280 24
I get scared when large birds chase me! I would've tried to shoo it too! It was an accident!! And if the turkey hadn't clearly been out for blood, he probably would have lived. Turkeys are the real douchebags here.
soad2014 7
All that turkey wanted was some love...
r_bruce69 19
I dont get all the YDIs. It was an accident that was totally unexpected and he was sorry for it. That's why OP made the FML. They felt guilty.
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Ydi for not being observant of where it was flying
roachyroo 5
Turkeys don't fly
cmb8280 24
I don't think the caps got your point across, next time try putting a little more umph into it.
roachyroo 5
Bonus turkey sammichesfor awhile
skyeyez9 25
Why didn't you just let it follow you? It wasn't hurting anybody, I would have found it cute and amusing a turkey is following me.
lunarstarfox 6
You DO realize Turkey's are not friendly, they are very territorial and aggressive, and prone to attacking...
hiandrews69 29
Free dinner for a a few days/weeks, depending on how you eat.
footcheezeez 16
Yum...