Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Squirrel murderer.
SirEnigM0nk 22
You shall face Squirrely Wrath when you least expect it. Foamy has you on his sh!t list.
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Comments (7)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Squirrel murderer.
Jon Tessler 14
you are a lousy human being
SirEnigM0nk 22
You shall face Squirrely Wrath when you least expect it. Foamy has you on his sh!t list.
RichardPencil 32
He's dead or near death. You can't know that for sure, otherwise your fence ain't worth a shit. On the other hand, you could fly your drone over your neighbor's yard to spy things out.
D J's MOM 17
I think I hate you. I love my squirrels. and they get along just fine with my birds.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
You monster. If you want to scare a squirrel, all you have to do is run toward it. Get close enough and they book it. You better give that innocent thing a proper burial. You should also be charged with animal abuse.