Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
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Top comments
TiggityTony 5
Fatality.
gc327072 31
Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!
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Comments (247)
AllThingsBright_ 11
Welp, now you can take it home and gobble it up for dinner.
SApprentice 34
That's some unnecessarily aggressive behavior. Even with the extra force of the turkey fluttering in your direction, there's no reason why a little 'scare away' kick should have killed the poor thing unless you were viciously snapping your foot out at it. What did the turkey do to you?
jem970 19
Actually turkey, and other fowl, necks are very easily breakable. I mean I saw my neighbor grab a chicken, swing it over his head gently a few times and snap his wrist. Chicken body went flying while his head stayed in the guys hand. Very disturbing... Scarred me for years.
SApprentice 34
170- Actually, I grew up with a lot of pet fowl, and while their necks are a little delicate, OP would probably still have had to have had ill intent behind his actions in order to kill it like that. A 'shoo' motion is just a moving motion, but he seems to have felt enough anger for the animal's presence that he put legitimate force behind that movement. Also, your example doesn't apply. Your trying to use that as an example of how it only takes a little bit of force to break their necks, but picking an animal up and swinging it around by its head is quite a bit more than just a small amount of force. I have no problem with hunting, or farming, but unnecessary animal cruelty or having a desire to kill an animal just for the sake of it does bother me. This turkey was in a local park, in a peaceful place, where no hunters would be hunting, and where it was probably accustomed to human interaction. There's no reason why OP should have even wanted to cause it harm. The FML itself states that the turkey was just curious, so why be so aggressive toward it? Why call it 'stupid', when it was just responding to a threat in the way most animals would? It just seems bizarrely hateful towards such a harmless creature. Hopefully, the OP can learn from this scenario and make better choices next time.
Enslaved 38
Hmmm. . . Can't choose between "Why do birds suddenly appear Every time you are near? OR "Everybody was kung-fu fighting"
brandonlee09 5
At least you'll be saving on ammo and guns during turkey season since apparently you don't need them
slowlybreakingme 14
Dick move, bro.
Sugarita 7
Poor thing :'(
Wizardo 34
"Gobble GOOBB...." - Turkey's last words
Ziggy122 15
Dinner.
inumiko 12
Free dinner??
captainObviously 15
"Somebody stop that man! Hes a turkey killer!!"