Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML
Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML
Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML
Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML
Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML
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Top comments
mn_shr 22
Seriously OP, what era are you from?
DocBastard 40
"DON'T ******* MOVE!! IF YOU DO, I WILL GENTLY COOL YOU WITH THIS! I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR!"
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Comments (110)
thebomb553 5
What on earth?
DocBastard 40
"DON'T ******* MOVE!! IF YOU DO, I WILL GENTLY COOL YOU WITH THIS! I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR!"
Ambient25 25
"Teacher! This gentle breeze is stabbing me!"
mif_fml 27
Cool your jets.
Ambient25 25
#35 I am offended by your use of the term "heartless". Quite a few people, to include vegans, are born without them. Animals have to compete for the same food source with these people! It's a tragedy :(.
BobbieH 19
That must have been a horrible experience for your "friend" Noor. It's no good when your bits are in bits and bits.
badbaby_87 5
*whirrrr*
Sports_guy3 28
#35, #37, and #43- I am offended by all your comments.
worldclassrager 41
Those blades are sharp...what would they do if you brought a jack/pocket knife?
drewflav 17
The foam ones couldn't cut through paper, let alone human skin. Don't be silly!
RedPillSucks 33
Being silly is kind of what this web site is for.
drewflav 17
True, but I would've been thumbed down for stating my true thoughts. I have to maintain some form of a filter.
ImAFaker 29
It's not the blades that hurt, it's the breeze. The sharpness of the cool breeze hurts me so. Oh the humanity!
Zimmington 21
Schools these days go crazy over EVERYTHING I was once called to the office for having a little 5 clip .22 its insane!
Freethaawave 19
Too soon?
sunnyray812 42
Next your principal will wonder why you're carrying pencils in your pocket and lecture you on how dangerous those "weapons" are.
KiddNYC1O 22
Those were the good old days.
phoenix1977 8
My daughter got suspended for a week for a laser pointer and apparently that was lenient because according to the zero tolerance policy she should have been expelled and if it happens again she will be She's 12
JMichael 26
We live in a era where your pinky can be used as a weapon.
sydstoomuch 19
Damn...
sydstoomuch 19
...
phatdaddy62 23
There's a button for that.
Sports_guy3 28
#94- How many times are you gonna say that?
8born8 18
phatdaddy62 is a broken record, repeating the same one hit wonder on a continuous loop.
Tessa_11 19
At my school, you would of gotten expelled.
emeraldisle 30
*would have