Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML
Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML
Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML
Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML
Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML
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Top comments
mn_shr 22
Seriously OP, what era are you from?
DocBastard 40
"DON'T ******* MOVE!! IF YOU DO, I WILL GENTLY COOL YOU WITH THIS! I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR!"
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Comments (110)
sarahbevan20 11
We aren't allowed to bring water guns to school. I had to use one for a skit one time and I got yelled at. The principals justification? "Someone can look at that and think its a real gun, and spreading fear is an act of terrorism." The gun was PINK. And clear. I also wasn't allowed to bring a marshmallow shooter to school for the same skit. These ******* principals nowadays have sticks up their asses. For example, my assistant principal gets some sort of sick satisfaction out of yelling at girls for wearing "short shorts/skirts." when they're actually modest. That hypocrite bitch is standing there yelling at someone whilst wearing a skirt shorter than the girls.
carelessxdanger 9
*sighh* dont you know the percentage of injuries made by pocket fans?! its pretty high. shame on you OP. peoples lives are at stake! :P
BradTheBrony 19
I think the principal might have been pretty high.
pistolpete31000 7
I'm saying you only deserve it because its too damn cold for a pocket fan,lmao!
KylarStern19 7
You've obviously never seen a fan in the hands of a Chinese martial artist. Those things are deadly
Zomg_Okay 27
63 - Like I was, you're thinking of the wrong type of fan. Google "pocket fan". It makes the FML that much more ridiculous.
De_Bri 16
I didn't know Kitana from Mortal Kombat was still in high school...
the_real_dvd 21
This paranoia over weapons has reached a level of ludicrousness. Today, you can get expelled for playing "cowboys and Indians", which was common childhood fodder when I was a lad with zero inflicted fatalities.
Blizztastic21 17
I bet OP played it "cool" while sitting in the office.
Xotoolyxo 16
Your school sounds like they have noting better to do then bust kids for dumb reasons
pdp_fml 21
I wouldn't want to be carrying books either as you might be tempted to hit someone over the head with one. What's next in these PC days? Will you have to register your hands as deadly weapons if you know martial arts?
fantasyworld 39
Anything can be used as a weapon.
Zomg_Okay 27
Ahh, the zero intelligence policy. What would we do without it?