Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML
Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML
Today, I was in school when a guy grabbed my breast, so I swore at him and shoved him away. I got detention and he walked away unpunished. FML
Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "That's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "Push a little harder" while dissecting a frog. FML
Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML
Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML
Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
md101 18
I think you're principal sucks dude, pocket collection is an awesome hobby! All my friends are rocks...
cakefete2 31
You're going to need a rock-solid alibi to beat this rap. Don't take your right to legal council for granite. A good lawyer is your only hope.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
md101 18
I think you're principal sucks dude, pocket collection is an awesome hobby! All my friends are rocks...
friedpwnadge 25
That wasn't very gneiss of your principal.
Woedel 25
Talk about bad timing.. Sorry OP! At least you found a nice looking rock?
extrasnipes 22
I find it amusing how currently this is a top comment yet has negative votes.
Woedel 25
Magic !
Rainbow2Cloud 12
Why are most of these comments downvoted? Do people just downvote comments for the hell of it?
Pandacupcakelove 26
Why does this have negative votes anyway? I wonder what makes people who read this comment so dissatisfied with it
Pandacupcakelove 26
Yeah I posted at the same time as #35. The awkwardness.
3molliver3 16
That does not rock
SeanLewis 17
Neither does your comment.
whycantisignup 24
#18 You must be stoned
SeanLewis 17
Truuuuu
stingray112 24
Well just explain the situation to your principal and if they still are being unreasonable, then you know how much of a dick they are lol. Sorry that happened OP
doubleofuck 20
That's a sucky situation and there's not much you can do to get out of it. It certainly sucks OP
Welshite 40
All those poor little pet rocks. I do hope a nice eulogy was given as they were flushed.
MattStro 23
Not quite so sure how you'll get out of this one especially since not many people spontaneously pick up pretty rocks. Best of luck OP!
ImTheAlpha 30
Wait collecting random rocks isn't normal?
pabj208 23
Sounds like an overrockaction to me.....?
SeanLewis 17
You're trying too hard.
pabj208 23
Rock hard, baby!
cakefete2 31
You should be stoned. Not because it's a justified reaction to a rather terrible pun, but because it would be hilarious given the current situation.
SeanLewis 17
Stop talking boulder-dash, cakefete ╰_╯
pabj208 23
Slaters gonna slate
LOLouis_fml 24
No, God no..
trellz17 19
No one ever investigates anymore, do they?
hockeygoalie13 15
I was thinking the same thing. The fact that he brought the rock in clearly does not prove that he is the one putting them in the toilet.
cakefete2 31
You're going to need a rock-solid alibi to beat this rap. Don't take your right to legal council for granite. A good lawyer is your only hope.
kindasortayeah 25
These puns are killing me