Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML
Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML
Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML
Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML
Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML
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Top comments
mn_shr 22
Seriously OP, what era are you from?
DocBastard 40
"DON'T ******* MOVE!! IF YOU DO, I WILL GENTLY COOL YOU WITH THIS! I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR!"
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Comments (110)
Dyckman 1
Has nobody ever played super smash bro's? Pocket fans are dangerous!
Sports_guy3 28
It's in Assassin's Creed Brotherhood's multiplayer also.
UrYousername 15
Fanatics ain't no joke.
djsammyc 19
my freind brought a two foot sword to school and all hes getting is 2 weeks suspension
maxhhh 18
The cold air from the fan could certainly give someone hypothermia. C'mon OP.
patrickalamo 48
Zero tolerance is perverted from the original intent. In its current form I have no tolerance for zero tolerance.
asherm 15
The pussification of 'Murica continues.
ZY1431 24
omg your fan someone to death....
AntiPrude 26
Made by old losers with sticks up their arses.
jmcr 27
Is it me or are the crazy overly sensitive people are now the ones with the powerful positions?
catharsis5 9
It really depends on how you use it. By any chance, was OP shoving it on somebody's face?