Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Stealth bomber
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Top comments
namezox 0
wtf.. why would you do that.
Maxine17 8
You should have said something like "Excuse me, you have something on your face" You don't touch strangers unless you have had at least 50cl of vodka.
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Comments (149)
kayPandastyle 15
even tho ur intentions were good you prob. shouldnt touch a stranger in the face but omg i LOL'D!
PinkDahlia 0
Bitch, you just got Chuck Norrised. If you flicked a bug off of his face he would roundhouse kick you until you die.
crankyinthemorn 0
I would have pressed charges on that guy, or at the very least scream to make everyone look while pointing and crying, which would in turn embarrass him. There is NO reason whatsoever for a man to ever closed-fist punch a woman. Period.
squibbyboo 0
Did anyone else notice that OP is a MAN?
muffinsareyummy 1
really? really? i mean...REALLY? you couldn't have just said "d00d, there's a fly on your face!"?
mochie 0
While I do feel sorry for you, the common logic in that situation would be to tell the person they have a bug on their face.
ashleyyisflyy 0
hahahahahhahahah
skeleton_skinner 0
Didn't your mommy every tell you not to smack strangers. YDI big time. He could've had a gun and shot you dead!
kingdachris 1
of course YDI, u couldve at least told him
xNephilim 19
I've never been to California, but I'm pretty damn sure people have mouths there, too. TELL him there's a bug on his face next time.
flighted 1
I was not aware it was possible to "lightly SMACK" something.