Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
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Top comments
SmallTownCutie 0
aww it's ok. you're just lonely.
Illyssa_fml 4
awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha
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Comments (207)
MeyMeyChan 6
I agree with #4~ Absolutely nothing wrong with having a little animal friend. :3 Just.. Watch over them at all times.. So they're not taken away by a big birdy.. Or some other predator.. ): -RIP Squeakers-
TerrorDollie 0
Um. Congratulations! That's a whole new level of lonely.
Bad_Boy1321 0
hahaha
myshoe 0
u reached a new stage of ugly
kiraaamaeee 0
win ^ :3
Mubus 0
28 defines Pure Win.
LOLatU87 0
step 1. - Go to a bar step 2.- drink rapidly step 3.- start a conversation with a good looking stranger step 4.- make nookie with stranger step 5.- hey presto you have a new friend
imoldgregg123 0
1- cut a hole in a box 2- put your junk in that box 3- make her open the box and THATS the way you do it!
LOLatU87 0
fist pump that shite
sweetcheeksjvl 0
it's my dick in a box!!!lmfao haha
tencentsakiss 19
22: That is an amazing song.
MadPercussion 0
15 - Edit Step 5: Presto! You have a new disease!
Karnezar 2
1) Go out clubbing 2) Bring pet cricket as wingman 3) Get crunk 4) ??? 5) PROFIT!!
yehr 0
that's what condoms are for..
SnailFist 5
21&36-win
justinemalang5 0
cricket the wingman HAHA that's a win bro
cuddlekitty66 0
I'm not a generally lonely person at all, but web I get bored I do this. Now since you did say you did it because you were 'lonely', this doesn't apply to you. but the action none the less isn't all that strange -- to me anyway.
Mpsteve13 7
lll be your friend
Terpaxsten 0
Congratulations! You have reached level 61 lonely. You may now talk to crickets and female hoboes!
jose1760 1
That's ******* hillarious ...
thornywaffles 6
Bugs can love too!
marylovesyou8D 7
awww. (: what's his name? :D
myshoe 0
u girls are hot
Ryanfmlfiend 0
pedobear much?
BroSkii69 8
.
BroSkii69 8
29...not cool dude. Creeper like shitboy
padlarf 14
Don't worry OP, you'll be a real boy one day
bharrell2010 0
heh, #6! uhm wow, sucks dude...