Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
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Top comments
SmallTownCutie 0
aww it's ok. you're just lonely.
Illyssa_fml 4
awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha
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Comments (207)
TheNewGuy03 29
that...is a determined cricket. and i'd have to guess that you're...lonely? my conversation with the cricket would have gone something like this: me: ugh...what a day. *sigh* cricket: *cricket* me: WHAT THE ****!?!??! *smash* |the kid|
bachooka 5
I just woke up my kids by laughing at this. lol.
RedPillSucks 33
Yeah. Sometimes I wish I could 'favorite' a single comment, but alas....
randiZ25 0
well you have a friend for about a year... enjoy!
dacho 7
Because of you not saying "I named him [name]", this is either fake, oryou named him Edward/Jacob.
biskitbukit 7
Get out.
Mubus 0
That's what she said!
KennKenn 0
sounds more like a MLIA
heartless_j 0
well your cricket can be friends with my tree frog so that way you can meet other peopl and he can meet other animals
SquaresviL7e 0
Frogs do love insects.
swimmerstud 7
I'm jealous now.
iheartglasses 0
What do you feed a cricket?
SmellMyCheese 1
he doesn't. it's forced to eat itself. god knows what's left of it now.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Awkward silence. OP's starving it.
fatman1970 25
Err... Have you been missing any medication?
restythestar 0
A pic or this one's not real