Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
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Top comments
SmallTownCutie 0
aww it's ok. you're just lonely.
Illyssa_fml 4
awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha
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Comments (207)
SmallTownCutie 0
aww it's ok. you're just lonely.
Einstein714 0
how did he get in your room with only one leg?
zakkyzebra 11
27. she ripped it off so he couldn't escape and gave him a sombrero and named him poncho
klutzycleo 5
Pity train is so annoying. You're pathetic.
MissLizWolf 8
no, you are 34,
JuliaM1000 10
I'm so loneeeyyy I'm mr lonelyyyy I hot nobodyyy -something something something- haha op name it Paco REMEMBER TO FEED IT
PhoenixFiend 0
The exoskeleton has been broken. He has approximately one to two days to live. Say "bye" to your best friend before it's too late.
Nena713 0
Such a lonely day, and it's yours. The most loneliest day of your life.
CloudEnvy 17
Such a lonely day shouldn't exist.
harryman_bamf 0
crickets only live for 3 weeks max.
natas_fml 13
and if your cricket dies, you're gonna die with it.
seanders 10
I'd get insurance now for funeral expenses. It won't be long.
iSitt 0
if it's legs were working it would leave too
moogie0221 3
or sunny muffins
TheVariableX 0
Well you had better have named it Jiminey!
usmc2016 0
Says the fugly
EricErection69 0
what's it's name?!
FLCL4711Fox 0
it's a day that I'll never miss
SexyGamerNerd110 8
@32: she's Anne Wilkes? shouldn't she have named the cricket Paul Sheldon then? o.O
MicMic_fml 7
145 - man with boobs?
Angel_Vice 0
A lucky cricket?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
jiminy cricket?
cp1338 0
Probably not since it only has one leg!
SkoomaKi 28
Am I the only one thinking of MULAN?
emma1441 7
Dude SAME
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
*crickets* *crickets*
LTFlames 0
win
HeyDontReadThis 0
forever alone
77taylah33 0
aww that's ok nothing wrong with animal friends=)
DjeePee 25
Still, I would suggest OP to take a real pet instead of a criple cricket.
MissLizWolf 8
yes, I think she should get a puppy of kitty, OPs Fml actually made me so upset, I've never felt lonely, because I live my family but truly this made me feel horrible.
lanark 8
alliteration win ^
yehr 0
lol agree ce-yute!! mr cricket :D
Neonnight 0
Agreed I have a animal friend... Betsy the spider
Illyssa_fml 4
awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha
zjnat 1
hahaha nice one lol
sammie143 0
Lol funny
justsayfuck 5
Either enjoy it, or change it.
steggunekoms 0
I wonder what kind of conversations op had with this cricket...
CloudEnvy 17
I'm willing to bet it had something to do with only having the one leg. That's gotta be a talking point. I know i'd atleast complain about it a couple of times.
FingerMyElmo 0
Is his name Uno or what homie
rararad 3
Ahahahaha
myshoe 0
u Asian
lolmaster7654321 4
nooooooo bob-carl-fred-george
airforce987 20
YDI. Go out and meet some people, get a life!
fuckmylifeover 0
dumbass
alyssaax3 0
yeah.. that's so pathetic it's funny
manatees_r_epic 0
#10, Moron
Rangant 7
the poor cricket I don't think even trained professionals bring paid to listen to u would do it for three hours... let him go, just cause ur life is lane and boring doesn't mean his is... he's missing a leg, he has suffered enough
tencentsakiss 19
Letting him go wouldn't help him.. he's not missing one leg, he only has one left. I don't think he could go anywhere. Poor thing :(
tencentsakiss 19
Letting him go wouldn't help him.. he's not missing one leg, he only has one left. I don't think he could go anywhere. Poor thing :(