Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Seek help
Today, I realized my friends were right about my obsession for my only son when I found myself genuinely jealous when I heard he recently got a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML
Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML
Looking good
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Lil' cutie
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML
Top comments
Livelife121 30
"Just look at how that dress clings to her body and cleavage, what a ****!"
rg350dx 29
Oldest trick in the book, love.
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Comments (144)
Jemm_fml 29
*Waits for the "what a dick, time for a new fiancé" comments*
Damian95 16
You know, in a way, you basically made that comment. The FML community has a short fuse for statements like this. Sorry buddy, but here comes the boom.
Nordrag 26
8 - although you have a point, there are some people of the FML community who think that 1's comment counts as a type of joke. One that some find funny. Some of us dislike those jokes, myself included, and all we can do is thumb it down and let it happen.
Damian95 16
I completely understand. I was just warning him of his imminent demise at the hands of angry FML people. No harm no foul.
Soloman212 28
Sorry number 20, but there are some people in the FML community who don't like when comments back up comments that predict certain types of comments before they're commented. What was I saying?
Nordrag 26
I was in no way defending 1's comment. In fact I even stated my own distaste for such comments. I was however stating that it is a waste to berate those comments due to the fact that some people enjoy them, therefore, leave your thumbs and move on.
XxDevilxXGt 26
It looks like this thread has been mauled by an army of thumbs facing down. Just picture it, every comment that rises is hammered down by disposable thumbs.
Damian95 16
So the bad comment got downvoted. The comment getting on to the bad comment got downvoted. And the comment getting on to the comment that got on to the bad comment got downvoted. Holy Shit its hard to please these people!!! Talk about confusing!
ironichalibut 24
Opposable.. And I think it's noteworthy that both sides of this argument were thumbed down.. WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT? WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO PLEASE YOU!? Edit: guy before posted while I was typing
Jemm_fml 29
Exactly #100 and #101. It is confusing and this community is a hard one to analyze for sure. Sometimes you could be totally hilarious and get downvoted to hell for no apparent reason and vice versa. I just move on and keep commenting, and having fun. Thumbs down don't bother me much because they barely say anything, and I'm not an asinine person, so no worries!
Livelife121 30
"Just look at how that dress clings to her body and cleavage, what a ****!"
kurodansei 16
Must be one of those rap guys girlfriends....
rocker_chick105 31
God her legs are so long you could land a plane on those things!
Wizardo 34
"Dumps like a truck, truck, truck. Thighs like what, what, what. I think I'll sing it again. Let me see that tho-o-ong"
flockz 20
"i could pop those gigantic succulent boobs with a needle. you could use those as buoys if you were stranded in the ocean!"
arsenicalhumor 30
"Do you SEE how tight those pants are on her? Most men would like that, but not me babe, not me."
evan_7899 28
this why i purchase polarized sunglasses, and look in the mirror prior to purchase making sure my eyeballs are concealed
queerdragon 20
"Look at that girl, she looks like a **** star. I bet she sucks **** like a professional... not that I would know baby girl, your innocent and inexperienced fumbling in bed make me love you even more."
rg350dx 29
Oldest trick in the book, love.
xBethanyC 15
You should just do the same to him "ugh look at him. You can see his muscles rippling through his shirt. Good thing I don't go for guys like that!"
quontag 15
I thought the oldest trick was lying to them to boost their self esteem.
SuperDanielNL 23
Were can I obtain a copy of said book?
TheDrifter 24
You should have received a copy with your man card. If you lost that one, they offer them in verbal form at Nascar events and most tailgate parties.
TheDrifter 24
You should have received a copy with your man card. If you lost that one, they offer them in verbal form at Nascar events and most tailgate parties.
1deep4life 11
That's called "game". Welcome to the world of males. It's a cold one you better bundle up!!!
ZeroPath5 16
Sometimes guys take the "game" too seriously, sad to say
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Some guys are so bad at the game they brag about it. If you're real good, no one even knows you've got it.
ShannyAK 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's defiantly not okay, but you can only talk to him about it and hope that he will stop
buckeyed 20
It's more of a subtle defiance, really.
rob02 19
He isn't ever going to stop
rob02 19
Nothing wrong with looking, just don't touch and you'll be fine
buckeyed 20
That's how it always starts; just looking...but then the visuals become thoughts, fantasies, and eventually actions where we can't help ourselves. Then, next thing I know I've eaten the entire pizza.
rob02 19
Haha!
corporatescoundr 25
That went a completely different way then I thought it was going too... When it gets like that I do a lot more than eat, if you know what I mean? *winks and rubs pizza sauce on nipples*
Wizardo 34
And he carries beauty magazines 'for the articles'...
Jivesliven 24
Unless the fiancé is a girl and the poster is a guy, that would completely change the meaning of this FML.
kurodansei 16
I doubt that'd be sn FML for most guys.
Merylwen 24
Fiancé = man Fiancée = woman
olpally 33
What a douche bag move. His focus should only be on you.
vertigoisarat 8
You're the douchebag, douchebag.
olpally 33
Why? That was uncalled for. what's wrong with you?
vertigoisarat 8
Because it's not a douchebag move. Guys like you make the rest of us look bad by acting like you would never check out another woman while in a relationship. The same type of guy who says he doesn't watch ****. It must get lonely on that pedestal.
olpally 33
Dude seriously?? Are you kidding me? Way to be very judgmental about someone you don't know. Good god.
rob02 19
ah #26 LOL
olpally 33
He got deleted man.. He was harassing me for no reason. He's an idiot. Joke is on him. Lol.
MzZombicidal 36
I think it's healthy for the relationship if you just accept that there are quite a few attractive members of the opposite sex (or same sex, whatever) and your partner will want to look. Hell, you'll even want to look. I love my boyfriend more than anything but even he can appreciate a good-looking person with me. :P Looking's fine. Just don't touch. Ever. (Unless that's what you're into)
olpally 33
Well said #70 agree on all points, it's natural to look, no touching though. :)
queerdragon 20
I dated this guy, Bill, for six months. I told him straight out that I did not mind ****, that "looking" was not a huge problem, I just did not want to hear about how hot some other girl was. He proceeded to compare me to every girl there was, become obsessed with online **** stars, and start to tell me I needed to change the way I dressed to be like other women. I broke up with him. I do not think looking is a problem. I have seen some very attractive men in my life. But when the guy becomes so focused on looking that he has to come up with a whole ploy, like Op's man, then I think it has become a problem.
rg350dx 29
Of course. He reads them all the time, for the Assonance...and Titilation.