Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt… into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time." He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
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Top comments
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Congratulations, you're one of the biggest morons around here. That's quite a feat, considering the other contenders to the title. Unless you meant you were smoking 'something else' and just said tobacco out of hypocrisy, you're really stupid to think it's illegal to smoke, especially in your own car!!
WTSchool 0
You definitely deserved that one. =_=
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Comments (76)
JigabooWarrior 0
obviously most of these ppl are popo-inexperienced (which is good of course) but... Never confess until proven guilty! unless you are 100% sure that they will find out
Cookie00Munsta 0
Your Underaged I'm guessing? Damn bro. Keep smokin tho!
moziecatt 0
You lie,you get introuble. you tell the truth,you get introuble.what the hell do we do?
blackwidowtaco 31
Act like an adult & take responsibility for what you do wrong.
jannewillis 0
you're not allowed smoking while driving ?
fmlperson1724 0
cops always ask you what you did wrong in hope of admitting something other than what they stopped you for.
u_r_idiot 1
where do you live that smoking is illegal
Billdemort 0
ok, assuming we're not talking about a new smoker; smokers know how to retrieve, light, smoke, ash, and put out a cigarette without ever looking at it. I do it all the time. yes, dropping said cigarette in your car could be a dangerous distraction, but so is driving in general. when you're being a defensive driver and looking ahead of you for any signs of a dangerous driver, you may not notice the person tailgating you just before you slam on your brakes to avoid the person changing lanes in front of you. also, statistically: 1) your chances to have an accident increase by 5% for every 10 miles over 50. does that mean you should never go 70 even on an interstate? 2) over 50% of all accidents occur within 2 miles of your home. so should we all park 2 miles from our houses, and walk home? I guess my point is, everything is dangerous. everything can be a distraction. if you're worried about weeding out all dangers and distractions, you should lock yourself in your house for the rest of your life. but then what happens if your house catches fire, someone breaks in, you have a gas leak, or nuclear war breaks out?
macawcrazy 0
Wow- you actually have good facts vs stupidity! ;) I can't believe I'm still reading this crap - lol
chicster 0
it's illegal to smoke and drive where I come from
canyouwangchung 0
perhaps we can all calm down before we outlaw breathing as well. it does subconciously take up brain power. this country is starting to become more safe and most laws to make sure we do are unneeded.
starberries 0
What the hell are you even talking about?
hazeleyedoll 0
First, it is way more distracting to change the music. A smoker doesn't have to look away to find their cigs or lighter cuz the first thing you do is make them easily accessible for the purpose of not having to look. I do that with music too but my mood for music can change depending on the drive and traffic so therefore I always get stuck swerving around looking for a song I wanna hear. I never need 2 hands to light my cigs, that's why you roll up windows to block the wind, light up and roll back down. Don't argue something you don't have a clue about. Text-driving however will kill us all...