Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt… into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time." He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Congratulations, you're one of the biggest morons around here. That's quite a feat, considering the other contenders to the title. Unless you meant you were smoking 'something else' and just said tobacco out of hypocrisy, you're really stupid to think it's illegal to smoke, especially in your own car!!
WTSchool 0
You definitely deserved that one. =_=
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
andytheandy 0
I love the idiots on here. cinn scares me, she looks like a transformer, he'll a anorexic version of olive oil lmao
tiipsypiink09 0
I mean are you underage? Cuz if not I'm pretty positive smoking in your car is legal in every state. you're an idiot.
Tysonator 0
YDI for destroying your own body.
averinoelle 0
You can't smoke and drive? Where the hell are you from lmao
dragonmystik3030 0
it's now illegal to smoke in your car here if you have anyone under 16 in your car :) The Public Health (Tobacco) Act 2008 creates a new offence of smoking in a car with a child under 16 years of age in the vehicle. A $250 on the spot fine applies to the driver and any passenger who breaks the law and this will be enforced by NSW Police.
Calyx_fml 22
Tobacco... Yeah, right.
CantHandleMe 2
DUMBASS!!
zman5151 0
In most states it is a fine to have any kind of tobacco under the age of 18 or in some states 19. In tennessee its a 50 dollar fine, but people tend to think its not illegal to possess underage because most cops don't care about tobacco and its not a heavy fine.
botulismo 0
Since when is smoking while driving illegal? It should be illegal for some drivers not to be able to smoke while they drive.
FatMan23 10
1. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of heroin, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control. 2. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around. That's how far behind them I am! 3. Hey, you must have been doing 125 MPH to keep up with me! Good job. 4. Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?