Today, I was sitting in the living room with my husband when we heard a baby coo. This would have been adorable, if we had a baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
Standupmast3r 18
Maybe the stork brought it.
fightingkittens 39
Are there cats around? Cats make some weird-ass sounds that don't sound like cats, but they might sound like babies.
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Comments (72)
crazymentalblond 25
Time to call the Winchesters.
luvlu444 24
im praying for your sake that the tv was on
dabaerju 23
The TV was on but it was unplugged.
101jumpergirl101 7
Who's was it?
Leauge 13
A cat or a parrot can mimic baby sounds. But if you don't have one call a priest or burn down your house.
simsgirlgem 25
is your house an old one and even if its a mcmansion recently built you should get a history of the land to make sure you're not on a burial ground Indian or otherwise less we forget what happen in poltergeist
YourGrammarSucks 12
Punctuation is almost never a bad idea. However, you DO get +2 points for using "your" and "you're" correctly.
couchcat 25
This NEEDS a follow up.
LPac5295 27
It could have been an animal of some sorts.
LoverWordsFood 27
This happened to me. Happened for about two weeks before I got the courage enough to pull myself out of bed one night and, with my dog, checked the noise out. It was just one of the stray cats in our area and ran off before I could get even get a real good look at it. After that, it stopped. It's either that or a ghost....it's probably a ghost.
revolvearoundme 15
Maybe your internal clock is a coo coo clock.
somethingbad 6
Ok. So it takes a lot of energy for a ghost to make noise. So that's probably out. If it was a ghost, moving won't help because sometimes they attach themselves to people or objects. I'm guessing it's a stray cat, a neighbors baby or something like that