Today, I was sitting in the living room with my husband when we heard a baby coo. This would have been adorable, if we had a baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
Standupmast3r 18
Maybe the stork brought it.
fightingkittens 39
Are there cats around? Cats make some weird-ass sounds that don't sound like cats, but they might sound like babies.
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Comments (72)
Guy1009 15
Glad I read this night. Good bye sleep.
disnerd4 14
FMAL: F My Afterlife
ViviChenny 19
I think you should move to another house. Probably far, far away from the current house you're living right now.
lysx84 24
Solid 8 on the Creepy Scale. You get a 10 if it turns out that the 'coo' came from a china doll.
Icefire9461 7
# Annabelleforlife lol oh wait isn't Annabelle like a ragdoll or something?
hellnosucka 27
check the little basket at your front door.
buckdharma 38
Have the two of you gone coo coo?
nickob96 25
**** that shit I'm out..
filip00 16
Is everyone in the comment section 13 years old? It's very likely a cat. Cats are known to make baby-like noises. Stray cat could have easily wandered somewhere around/into your house.
crazymentalblond 25
You must be fun at parties. It could have been caused by numerous things. Many commentators are having fun poking jokes about ghosts.
filip00 16
Yeah, I'm not 5 years old and ghost stories do not amuse me. And you're right, I don't think I'd be a fun person at a teenager party.
ThrottleJockey 36
Sounds like Philip has an antenna up his ass.
sammiaaron 16
take a deep breath man you'll get thru this
cocainewhore 30
That was rude for no reason. Also, stray cats don't get in that easily, it's not normal to have stray cats wandering in and around your house without knowing about it.
GrymReefer420 9
...... yeah....probly a stray cat.... how did your non 13 year old mind ever figure it out. you sir are a genius!
derperbear 8
I am 30 and still have fun with ghost stories and so do several other people my age. It is aled having fun and and not taking the world so seriously
bandaidstations 28
Real adults don't skateboard filip!! What are you, 10?
LyricaSilvan 30
Yes, because obviously the fact that you are not amused by ghost stories suddenly means only 13-year-olds would be. Get over yourself.
missyfiona89 28
Might have been a Luuk Thep; a "child angel". Google it.
sammiaaron 16
oh man :O
brisbanegirl 21
This needs a follow up! I need to know where the baby came from