Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML
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Top comments
Dixie_Normous 0
I dunno I think I'd rather have mono than death.
Peroxide 3
I too almost died from choking once but luckily I had my handy juicebox with me. The juicebox was able to make a small incision in my trachea and insert an empty pen thus saving my life. That juicebox and I went on to become the best of friends and we travelled the world until one day I accidently stood on him and he exploded. RIP Juicebox. I'll miss you buddy!
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Comments (128)
ITuMT 0
You know wiki isn't always right, right?
Hurt16 0
what is mono?
PhilipEden 0
That just sucks! XD
sjks 0
doesn't necessarily mean you'll get it...you can carry it in your system without catching the illness, also it's possible for it to incubate for up to a year before you catch it. So generally you don't know where you get it from. I had no idea where I caught mine, and I shared all kinds of things with all of my friends, and kissed my boyfriend regularly, and no one I knew caught it. Just try to be healthy and keep your immune system strong. Also, if you were really choking and the drink saved your life, a month of feeling sick is kinda worth it dont you think?
arms_akimbo 0
Such bullshit. If you can't breath, how the hell do you drink out of a juice box.
myfriend_youfail 3
You don't need to draw air into your lungs in order to create enough suction to draw liquid through a straw. You only need to draw air into your mouth.
blastvortex 4
Eh? That rots, but at least they told you about it. Then again, it could be a prank just because you grabbed a juice box that wasn't yours. *shrugs* Get yourself checked out just in case. Mono is a pain in the ass, but at least it's beatable. On the other hand, the only way you could choke on a chip is if you accidentally inhaled it or failed to chew it enough. Sure, accidents happen, but you kind of brought this on yourself. =/
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
♪ And who can love you like me (nobobody) And who can sex you up like me (nobobody) Who can treat you like me now, baby (nobobody) Nobobody, baby. (nobobody) ♪
aquadog101 0
hahaha good one lol
NumberZine 0
Freaking idiot, if you could drink you weren't choking. Drama queen.
Erindub 0
Better than Swine Flu
cherylface 13
Nobobody was clearly the best part of this FML by far.